You are at a friend's party having a great time. You look over and see your date or partner laughing, chatting -- and could that be flirting? -- with someone else at the party. What do you do?
(a) March over, wedging yourself in between your partner and the other person as you introduce yourself.
(b) Trust your partner will not take it past innocent flirting, but keep one eye on the situation anyway.
(c) Catch the eye of your partner, give them a smile, a wink, and a toast and hope they are having fun.
(i would probably do B, but when things get out of hand the next thing i'll do is A)
The reason I ask?
The fine art of innocent flirting has created many an after-party fight. Some people feel their partner should be giving all that attention exclusively to them instead of someone else. But what would happen if we began to see flirting as creating an abundance of good couple energy? The idea is, the more positive feelings you share with other people, the more you will get back.
I want my partner to flirtOne afternoon while having coffee with a friend, I explained how I not only encourage my partner to flirt, I teach him the fine art of flirting. Perplexed, she asked why on earth would I teach my partner to flirt. Fair question with a super-easy answer: I trust him 110 percent.
Ever since my partner emerged out of his I-can't-look-at-any-other-woman box with the freedom to flirt, he feels better about himself. He feels and acts sexy. He is more fun to be around. The end result is our relationship is stronger and healthier because he brings that positive energy home to me. The irony is that he does not really even flirt. It's simply that he has been given a pass-card to flirt that has made all the difference.
I could see my friend nodding her head in agreement. I asked, "Why don't you try flirting?" A tiny look of terror crossed her face. She then uttered the words that many people say when I broach the topic of flirting: "My partner wouldn't like it." Undaunted, I pressed the issue, "Why?" She started squirming, as if she was to divulge dark bedroom secrets, and replied, "He's just not that secure and quite frankly neither am I. I wouldn't like it if I saw another woman flirting with him." The conversation was uncomfortably dropped.
A little jealousy is goodInnocent flirting, to me, is like window shopping. It is the catalyst to get a spark going in a relationship. To successfully take a healthy relationship over the long term, I strongly believe everyone should flirt. Flirt with each other, flirt with other people, and allow other people to flirt with you. It creates such great "happy couple" energy.
If flirting is so great, why don't people do it more often? Probably the green-eyed monster -- jealously --pops to mind first. Well, let us turn this idea of jealousy on its head. Believe it or not, a little jealousy affirms the affection within your relationship. Jealousy indicates there is excitement. That said, a well-balanced individual in a healthy relationship will not twist their jealously into a full-blown fight.
Make a flirting agreementHowever, a big part of successful flirting is having a mutual agreement about what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship. Which means you must decide what flirting means to you, and communicate this to each other.
Start out with baby steps. For example, at a party, flirt only while your partner is present. Next level, your partner is across the room but in view. You know you have reached the flirting pinnacle when you can look at your partner flirting and having a wonderful time with someone else and feel happy for him or her.
Finally, flirting stays at the door when you two go home together. All that positive, sexy energy you have created from flirting should take you into a fabulous, fun night together.
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I read about this article in Yahoo a couple of months ago. This is just absurd. Maybe for some people it could work, but I don't see it useful or helpful in anyway for me.
I just don't! Me being the very jealous and crazy bitch that I am...
My thinking, when you give your partner that little inch of freedom (to flirt with other people), sometimes he or she wouldn’t know when to stop (ultimately). Yes I do trust my partner a lot; it is the “other” people who I don’t trust. People who could influence him to go on with the flirting until he’s too hooked on it and it’s too late. The relationship is destroyed.
Setting boundaries… yeah I know… It’s easy to say “no this, no that… blah blah blah..” but until when? Until he gets tired of the boundaries and take the flirting one step higher?
What if the person he was flirting with really believe that he is flirting with her to get something in return, then she turn out to be a psycho bitch? What then?
What’s the point of getting in “A Relationship” if you invite other people in it? I mean, isn’t flirting inviting other people in the picture? Harmless or otherwise…
I just don’t!According to Wikipedia:Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.
Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person's interest in courtship, which can continue into long term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship.
(So, would you want that in your relationship?)In other situations, it may be done simply for immediate entertainment, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.
People who flirt may speak and act in a way that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. One way they accomplish this is to communicate a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.
Entertainment or not… I just don’t believe that Flirting is healthy for any relationship out there. Flirting = Trouble. Period.
Jet’s Hannya Mask tattoo wasn’t put there for no reason. It is to remind him of what I might become once he crosses that boundary. Hehehe!
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This is one opinion i liked from one reader:I truely believe that can have a healthy relationship without flirting with other people. I dont believe that with my generation it is smart to give a man a "pass-card" so to speak. its asking for trouble. And personally I believe that if I am at a party with my husband and he gets all hot from flirting with someone else that isnt the energy I want coming home with me to take advantage of. I want my husband to be hot and heavy about me. Not excited about how he got his jollies off by some other woman talking to him. Dont get me wrong. In our group of friends we all have our innocent flirting techniques. And with that type of situation I am fine with it. I know and trust these people. But as far as going to a bar or party where it is purely strangers, you dont know what type of people those are and it may be "INNOCENT" flirting but it always could turn into something else. Its wrong to say it makes a relationship stronger because it doesnt. It helps with trust issues is what it does, and there will always be that percentage who will take it to the next level, which is cheating. Remember there are people out there who who will swear up and down that "swinging" makes your relationship hot like fire. That doesnt mean you should go out and hit the nearest neighborhood swing party if you are having problems in your relationship. Its all about whats comfortable to you and your partner.
