Trip To The Doctor

Last week May 3, I went to see my doctor. It’s been 2 years since I went for a physical examination and I was so nervous because I knew how it felt and I knew it would hurt. Alas! Due to my nervousness my monthly period came. Dr. Lilia cancelled the examination and instead she wanted me to have a trans-v and my sugar tested and said to go back once my period stop and together with my test results. Goodness! I was scared. Scared in a sense that, what the results would be and Doc would tell me it’s too late for me to have kids. Isn’t that a nightmare?

Anyways, two days after, Thelma our medtech friend came to our house to take my blood samples at 5:30 am till 9am! I was not allowed to eat or take anything liquid since 7pm the night before. I was so hungry. And the only thing I had for that morning was this liquid stuff she made me drink. It was so sweet and I didn’t like the taste. Grabe! She said it would determine if my blood sugar would go high enough to make me a candidate for diabetes. Four times she took blood samples from me. Four injections. Wwhaaa!!! She said she would bring the result that same day. I was excited to know if I was over the limit or not.

At around 9:30 pm she brought the results. She also did Hepatitis A and B tests and…. No Reaction! I guess I’m safe! Hehehe! The other results I believe I’m normal because it was within the limit. The other stuff… I didn’t know because I couldn’t understand the terms used. Hehehe!

Wednesday, May 9, I went back to Capitol Medical Center, this time Jet went with me. We went to OB Ultrasound to have my Trans-V. We were giggling while waiting for my turn. Joking about what the doctor might find inside me. Plus the fact that we were the only couple there who are not pregnant… The ultrasound went well. We got the result very quick. But we had to wait for an hour before Dr. Lilia arrived. And when it was my turn, she told me that it was good that overall I was within the limit. But she is worried about my weight. She wants me to lose them. She told me she’ll recommend a good nutritionist and she would give me medicines to stabilize my period. So far I’m good. Whew! I just thank Jet for being patient with me and for being supportive that day; that even though he was tired and sleepy because he stayed up late that previous night. Sana hindi sya nadala! Hehehe! With that all done, I’m due to go back to my Oby-Gyne after 3 months.

Till then… Have to take my medicines and start my fucking diet! Wwhhaaa!!!


P.S.

The people at home think I’m pregnant! Just because they heard me talking about going to my Oby-Gyne and having an ultrasound. Goodness! How I wish I was! How I wish! Hahaha!!!

Friday

- Almon Marina, SM Megamall-

There is something about dining alone that I sometimes like and hate.

I like the feeling of being on my own – being liberated, sometimes. Liberated in a sense that a lot of people I know wouldn’t be caught dead eating alone in a fast food or fine dining restaurants but I’m courageous enough to have done it several times. They on the other hand don’t have the nerve to tell the waiter “table for one please” or carry a tray of food while looking around for a vacant seat. The only thing I hate when eating unaccompanied is when people hear you say “for one” or as you walk by yourself with a tray of food some of them would turn their head to stare, gawk, or glance at you as you go by their table and take your seat all alone. Not that I have ordered food good enough for a basketball team, but maybe because the chair beside me or across me are empty. That’s when I sometimes think, “Why?! Why did I have to feel hungry?” But I’m hungry so what! As if there is a law against people eating alone in this country.

Why so? Maybe because a lot of people don’t feel comfortable eating by themselves. They need a companion to at least be occupied with, to talk with, and not to look stupid in public. Imagine you slice/bite your food, chew and swallow. Then what? You repeat the process until you’re done. Boring! But then for me, it’s eating in complete silence. You could savor each bite you take; truly experience the good food is. And take all the time in the world to finish it. I’m not ashamed that I could do it all by myself and I don’t pity other people who could do it also. There is nothing wrong with eating alone in a public place. Lakasan lang ng loob yan! I just make sure that I bring my iPod, and a good book or a magazine to kill time in between bites. Hehehe!

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Yesterday, I went to Megamall to have my nails done at Tips ‘N Toes. I didn’t call to set for an appointment, so by the time I got there my nail technician is already occupied with her client and wouldn’t be free until 5:30pm and it was only 3:45pm… Goodness! Helen, the one in charge at the front desk, scolded me for not calling ahead of time. She wouldn’t have set anything for Marly if I called first before I showed up at the Salon. Ok! Ok! Ok! My mistake! I won’t do it again. So I just said I’ll go back before 5:30 nalang. Now, I was left with 1 hour and 45 minutes, what was I supposed to do with all those time. Then I decided to eat. ALONE. I tried Almon Marina. Though it’s been at Megamall goodness for how long I don’t know, I only dined there once. So I told myself, I want to try their sandwiches this time because if I’m not mistaken, before I tried their pasta and loved it. Unfortunately never went back. Oh well… after a New York New York Sandwich and only 30 minutes left, I went back to Tips ‘N Toes and have my nails fix and a good foot spa. After two hours, I was done. My nails newly refill, my feet scrubbed. Hay… something that I look forward once a month and if really stressed - twice a month. A little indulgence won’t hurt. :p

After that, Jai picked me up at Starbucks. We went to Eastwood Libis. She did a little shopping at the Tiangge, I was happy to just check out what’s new. We had dinner and a little chit chat before she goes to work. By 11:30 pm I was home. Surfing the net and checking eBay. Another day has ended. Weekend. No work. I could sleep late. Yey!

Basketball & Pizza

I couldn’t sleep maybe because I got used to sleeping around 4 or 5 in the morning these past few days. Long weekend, I didn’t do anything except take naps in the late afternoon so by 12 midnight I’m still up doing nothing but reread The Da Vinci Code. Now that I’m done with it and the books with Jet, my minds so wide awake. Darn it! It’s so hard two force oneself to sleep… Oh well...

I had a good day today. Jet and I watched the bad boy tour of Dennis Rodman with the rest of the NBA legend against our Philippine Team. It was a nice game. Although I’m not a basketball fanatic, I still appreciated the good and unbelievable moves both team showed. And though I don’t know most of the players or the technical side of the game (thanks to Jet who never once got irritated when I ask about what’s happening), I still enjoyed every minute of it. Especially seeing Jets reaction, he almost cried seeing Dennis in the flesh. I knew it! He loved my gift. He couldn’t thank me enough. And by the way, our team won! Yahoo!

Here are some pictures:

-waiting for the game to start-

-face to face-

-game time-

-crush ko si number 35-

-rodman-

After the game, which lasted from 5:30-9pm (it was delayed for one whole hour!), we met with Tet. We tried this new place in Marikina. Blue Wave Marquinton (a mini mall). We had a feast with a 18” Manhattan Meatlovers with extra cheese and onion pizza at Yellow Cab, just the three of us! After that sumptuous dinner, Jet and I had a couple of cig while Tet and I finalize our plan for the next day’s meeting with out oby-gyne. Naku po! That’s another story. Hehehe! After a few minutes, we dropped Tet to her car (hilig kasi magpark sa malayo e… Hehehe!) And Jet drove me home. After thanking me endlessly for my best gift ever (according to him), he went home.

Now, I’m here typing and sleep is nowhere to be found. Hay…

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Anyway, it’s been good stuff that I’ve been writing here. I just don’t want to think about the negative stuff that’s been surrounding me lately. I don’t want to dwell in them. I want this blog to be happy memories, feelings and thoughts… Well, maybe some frustrations, stress and angst when I feel like it… Hehehe!

Umm… Time for bed whether I like it or not. Back to work in a few hours. Back to reality.

Movie

Jet, Jai and I watched the last full show of Silent Hill at Gateway awhile ago. It was nice. An ending I didn't expect but nice all in all.

Hindi sya corny. And not your typical good triumphs over evil. Protagonist wins and go home. Medyo weird and sad ang ending. But I liked it. I remember I played it once, Silent Hill 1 ata yun and I only got to the School and after that I didn't have the nerve to continue it. Nerbyosa ang lola. Siguro for a Silent Hill fanatic medyo bitin o maraming kulang sa movie, pero for me maganda na sya... especially the background music... feeling ko talaga I'm playing the game once again. Si Jet tanong ng tanong kung pareho ba sa game yung scene.. ang kulit! 2 hours were worth it! kahit masakit na ang pwet ko... Hehehe!

After watching the film, we went to Que Rico for dinner... Konting kwentuhan about the movie, work and other stuff. First time pala naming manood ng movie with my bestfriend... Hehehe! It was nice.

We can't wait for up coming movies... Like Mission Impossible 3, X-Men 3 and of course what we've been waiting for, The Da Vinci Code. I made him promise we're going to watch sa Globe Platinum para mas sulit. Baka 3 hours kasi yun noh. Hehehe! Para free popcorn narin!

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It's a long weekend today. I'm stuck here at home. Nothing planned. I'm bored to death! I think I'll just reread the Da Vinci Code... Hay...

eBay, Bday and a Gift

I’m eBay addict again. In three days time I’ve bid for five items and I’ve won them all… Haha! Good luck with my savings! I’ve promised myself to never again visit that site and bid (I could only look but not buy! Grrrr!) But alas! I’m always lured to it. I don’t know! Especially with things you don’t usually find in the mall. Like bags, antique stuff (for a much lower price), and expensive (authentic) perfumes for less. I got Victoria’s Secret stuff a hundred bucks lower than the ones you buy in Watsons or in SM, a Burberry Perfume 100ml for less than 2k! And those prices also include the shipping and handling cost. Still it’s a bargain! And their all REAL! And I couldn’t resist buying stuff from my regular suki. Some of them even text me to tell me they got new stuff… Awww!!!

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Jet’s birthday didn’t go the way I planned it should be. The CD and DVD didn’t arrive on time. It was Three days late. According to my sis-in-law, the plane left the package. Bummer! I gave Jet the birthday cards and while he was reading them I slipped the tickets on the table. He was ecstatic! Hehehe! He couldn’t believe he’ll be seeing his long time idol – Rodman. I really don’t know what he sees in him. He’s weird for me. He’s a good a player according to him… Oh well, we just had simple and quiet dinner. Coffee after that and went home. Nothing much really.

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Last Saturday the package did arrived and I was so excited. I’ve waited for it for almost six months. I immediately called Jet and asked him to come over. He didn’t know what I was up to. I just want to give it to him immediately and see his reaction. We met at Cubao and luckily he brought Chocomachine, we’ll be able to hear the CD on our way home. He picked me up at Coffebean and there I gave him the CD all wrapped up. When he opened in, he couldn’t react, he was speechless. Hehehe! Never seen him like that before. Nakakatawa talaga sya.

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Hay… ang init sobra!!!

Birthday

Two days from now is Jet's birthday. I'm so excited, although I’m still waiting for my gift for him to arrive. My sister-in-law told me, she already mailed the package last Monday and it’ll be arriving any day now. It was delayed because of the one week holiday we had. But I told myself it’s just right on time. I just hope it arrives before lunch this Wednesday. Or else… Bitin ang surprise ko for him.

Last year… Well actually I forgot what I gave him. But this year I wanted it to be different, tipong nahirapan talaga ako. Well, actually my sis-in-law had the hard time finding them. Last Christmas I asked her to look for CD’s and DVD’s of the band Sublime (its Jet’s fave band, next to Kapatid and 311). It was supposed to be Christmas Gifts for him but I guess the CD’s were really rare! It took her several months. So when she finally did find them, I realized April na and birthday na nya which is more wonderful! I know he’ll be really surprised. Plus I got 2 complimentary tickets for the May 1 event in Araneta Coliseum. NBA Bad Boy Tour vs The Philippine National Team… Something like that. I just hope he likes them. Hehehe! Who wouldn’t diba?

We still don’t have anything definite to do on his birthday. I told him dinner would be nice or a movie. I’m still thinking how I will present to him his gifts. I thought of giving him cards first, and then while reading them I’ll put the tickets on the table then the CD’s. Oh I don’t know!!! I just have to think of a more romantic or insane idea. Wwhaaa!!!! Mariel is more creative in giving surprises! I’m just a spoiler sometimes. I’m more excited than the recipient.

Esep! Esep!

Globe

Globe is weird lately. Since Wednesday night my prepaid cellphone number is getting Globe Advisory about me receiving 70.00 pesos worth of cash load for being a loyal subscriber. It kept me awake till the wee hours of Thursday. Not until receiving the 15th message did I mute the phone, I had enough! And the next day, I was still receiving 70.00 pesos sometimes 30.00 and sometimes 50.00 So my 216.00 cash load became almost 2,000 pesos. I was giving loads to my Globe Prepaid friends. I felt I don’t need that much loads anyway. But after a few hours I gain double the amount that I gave away! Now what the fuck is happening to Globe? Until now I’m still receiving a few amounts like 30 or 25 pesos. For the record, I have 2,347.00 pesos. Four hours ago I had 2,107.00

I don’t know if I should be happy or be scared. My friends on the other hand think I’m lucky. Hehehe! What will I do with 2,347.00 pesos worth of cash load and 113 free text messages? Plus I’m on a 5-day unlimited text and I have a postpaid account. I don’t text much. I do call a lot but I use my postpaid because I have free minutes of call there.

But anyway, I don’t know when the coming loads would end. Until they do, my friends will get their free loads from me… Hehehe!

DVD's, Fish and lot's of sleep

My Holy Thursday was spent watching DVD’s that Jet and I bought last Wednesday at the last minute; eating fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner and doing a lot of sleeping. The whole house was quiet and the weather was insane. I took five showers in one day. I was bored and craving for a big juicy burger from Bite Club. But it’s a sin to eat anything that’s meat (pork and beef). But I think what it means is that no sex during the holy week. Is it? Or is it not? Anyways, whatever it is, no meat is NO meat.

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Holy Friday our Bisita Iglesia. Jai arrived from work, followed by Jet and Ate Tina and the rest of the gang from Marikina. We visited 6 churches/chapels. Miraculous Church, our parish church here in Project 4, St. Joseph Church in Anonas, Mt. Carmel near Broadway, St. Therese Monastery in Gilmore (my favorite chapel), Mary The Queen in Greenhills and Don Bosco Church Makati (where Jet was Baptized). Only six because we did the last four stations in Don Bosco because it was getting hot and the kids were hungry already. After having lunch we went home to rest. The kids played and we the oldies talked and ate and some slept. Jet watched the DVD’s we bought. At around 6pm we left for Marikina to watch the Aglipay Prosisyon. 34 statues were paraded along Boni Avenue. All traffic was put to halt for almost one hour. But it was a good experience though. In our area, maybe 10 to 12 statues are paraded yearly and it’s nothing compared to what I saw last night. Grabe!

We had dinner at Ate Tina’s place and stayed there till 1am. Jet was sleeping over my place so we were not in the hurry to go home.

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There is something nice about sleeping beside someone you love. You know, just sleep and to wake up to feel his arms around you or to have him there staring at you while you were sleeping and upon waking up he’ll make kulit and would try to kiss you without even washing his face or brushing his teeth… Disgusting but very romantic… Hehehe! There are times that I wish we could do it often like before, once a week he would sleep in my place and we’ll do nothing but watch TV or DVD’s and order food. Hay…

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We woke up at around 11am already; he left after taking a shower but didn’t care to eat anything. I was still sleepy but had lunch, watched a little TV and I slept after a few hours. I was supposed to go out with Fennie today before they go home but I didn’t hear her text message. I was asleep till 6:30 pm… So now, I’m not sleepy yet and it’s almost 2am…

Wow! I have one more day of my vacation. I couldn’t believe it. Time flies really fast. It’s been a week of waking up late and sleeping late and going out anytime I want. Oh well… I didn’t go out of town… Maybe next time…

I didn’t do anything today. But sleep.

Good Mood

I'm such in a good mood. Maybe because I went out yesterday all by my self and I felt rejuvenated. Hehehe! A trip to my nail salon and a little shopping on the side really does the magic. I felt free and happy. I availed the free foot therapy spa my suki card offered at Tips ‘N Toes and after four months of being bare, had my nails done again. One thing I noticed, whenever I’m going through a rough part in my life, I would always have my nails done (acrylic). It’s funny or I guess nagkakataon lang talaga. Hay buhay!

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Today, I paid my credit card and my cellphone bills. Biruin mo naman, na deactivate ang mobile service ko because I was not able to pay the last three months; only because I didn’t get the first and second billing (siguro may nagtago nun!). The third one I did get but I was too late. Naputol na sya! But after paying it, the CSR assured me it would be activated within three to four hours. Hay! Nakulitan ata sa akin. Hehehe! Dapat lang noh! I paid the whole three months in cash. Salbahe sila kung hindi!

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After paying all my arrears, dinaanan namin ni Jet si Nanay sa house to bring her to Loyola to visit my father’s grave, together with Ate Lita, Jeneline and my baby Lisa. We prayed and much to my surprise, Nanay joined us. Good to know that she is still able to remember the rosary. We stayed there for almost forty minutes. After that, we went to Riverbanks para makapaglakad lakad naman si Nanay at makalanghap naman ng hangin at hindi puro aircon lang. I think she enjoyed naman our thirty minutes stay there. Even Lisa enjoyed her walk. Likot likot talaga. Kaso hindi lang talaga sanay sa pagsakay sa sasakyan. Medyo nahihilo pa sya.

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Jet and I thought about going to Nueva Ecija for this long weekend but still having second thought about it. Friday kasi mag bisita iglesia tapos that would leave Saturday and Sunday for the vacation lang… Medyo bitin ata yun. I was hoping to at least spend three to four days away from Manila. Hay.. siguro wag nalang.

Ang init sobra!!!

Vacation!!!

Today my vacation officially starts. One whole week without work! Yahoo! And today, Jai is back to work after five days of staying in our house. Kainis nga eh! Di pa nataon sa holy week yung vacation nya (I miss her already!). Aw! I’m bored and I couldn’t sleep. Earlier after Jai and I went to church and after we had lunch and konting kwentuhan, she left and I had nothing to do. I slept almost the whole day. So, ayan! Di ako makatulog ngayon. Kainis! I couldn’t reach Jet… wherever he is. I think he left his cell phone at home – unintentionally I hope. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to write my thoughts nalang. Baka antukin din ako… Wwhaaa!

This is hard. Ayokong magbasa or manood ng t.v. nothing is interesting to watch naman. I want to go out and have some coffee somewhere. Fuckers! I wanna go out period!

These are just random thoughts. I just want to keep my mind occupied. God! I want this night to end. Jetong! Where the hell are you?!

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My last five days were spent with my bestfriend Jai. We did nothing but go out for the first three nights then the last two nights we just spent it at home, watching t.v., reading magazines and walang sawang chikahan. We don’t see each other that much anymore after she was accepted in a call center. Ngayon lang kami naka pagbonding ng ganito. Except syempre yung ilang oras lang na inuman sa house nila Ate Tina.. Other than that, mga once or twice a month lang kaming nagkikita to have our usual coffee session. Swerte na yung once a week. I miss her. I miss talking to her. But I guess that’s life. Kanya kanya na talaga kami. Tapos ngayon, she’s waiting for her interview sa Canadian Embassy this coming May 10. If she passes the interview, she’ll be gone within the year… I’ll be losing my bestfriend for the second time. Oh well! Ganun talaga! Biruan namin, we’ll just see each other there. Pero seriously, medyo sinasanay ko na sarili ko sa situation na talagang aalis na sya ng bansa at wala na sya dito. Minsan nga sinasadya ko na hindi sya mamiss. At least pag umalis sya hindi masyado masakit kasi napalayo na ako sa kanya. Parang yung nangyari before between me and Lizabeth. I remember before she left ten years ago for the States… Months before, we were inseparable. Kaya when she left I got depress…. So depress. Pinilit ko nalang sarili kong wag syang isipin. Until now, all I have from her are our good memories together. She’s busy from work. Our barkada, P10, seldom hears from her. Pero hindi ko parin sya nakakalimutan. Those were my crazy years! Hehehe! Now, pag si Jai naman ang umalis… Hay! Ewan ko ba… Tama na nga… Nagdradrama na ako dito. Kasi naman!

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Wala na ako maisip talagang isulat dito.... I'm fucking bored!

Ano Ba Talaga Ate?

I really don’t know why I feel this way. Ang gulo-gulo talaga. Kanina mag kasama kami and what’s new ba? We fought again. I don’t know why. Parang every little thing he does irritates me. He asked na mag-usap kami kasi daw napapansin nya madalas daw kaming mag away nitong mga nakakaraang araw. So we did. We talked and he was frustrated na kasi nga away kami ng away… He even cried. Pero dahil mahal daw nya ako di daw nya magawang kontrahin ako. Which was true. I felt na I’m being too hard on him these past few days. And I knew mapapansin din nya ang pagbabago sa akin. I told him na I feel we’re being to close for comfort. I mean, physically speaking. Kasi lagi kaming nagkikita ngayon and I feel it doesn’t leave any space for me to miss him. Ang gulo talaga. I told him there are times na I get bored also. He said siguro nga dahil madalas kaming magkita. So ano nga ba ang solusyon? Sabi ko let’s go back to our old schedule wherein we only see each other twice a week. Okay pa ako nun e. We don’t fight. Hay… I think phase lang ata ito. I mean we’ve been together for two years now and we’re too familiar with each other. Hindi naman sa nakakasawa sya. I think ganun lang talaga ang relasyon. Make an effort to make it work when times like this occurs. Ayoko naman ng long distance relationship. I’ve tried it before and it didn’t work for me. Siguro tama lang yung katulad sa amin. May schedule lang. Pero minsan pwede rin yung mga biglaang pagkikita. Hehehe!

Hay… Sakit sa ulo kung iisipin. Dapat itigil ko na ito. Ika nga ni Jet, “wag na tayong mag away please?” Sino bang gustong mag away diba? I’m just thankful na hindi mainitin ang ulo nya, yung tipong maiksi ang pasensya or immature. Na tipong patol lang ng patol sa pag-aaway kaya lalong lumalala.

Ayoko ng mag away. Gusto ko nang maging masaya kami ulit just like old times. Basta.

Lessons learned:

1. Compromise

2. Understand

Minsan, naiisip ko kung bakit sya ang pinili ko. Bakit nga ba? I have this gut feeling na tama yung ginawa ko. Na may rason kung bakit ko sya nakilala, kung bakit ako nahulog sa kanya at kung bakit naging kami. Inspite the age gap and different generation. Na everytime kong iisipin, di ako makapaniwalang nasasakyan ko naman kung ano mga hilig nya at ganun din sya sa akin. Nakakagulat lang talaga.

Feeling ko rin he's just right for me. He's the kind of person na oo pinagbibigyan ako sa mga gusto ko pero may hanganan. Nagsasalita kung sumusobra na ako. Pag feeling nya na out of line na ang pagiging stubborn ko yun... dun sya nagsasalita. At minsan humahanga ako sa kanya dahil malakas ang loob nyang kontrahin o i-criticize ang ugali ko in a way na I don’t find it offending but parang mas matanda pa sya sa akin. Ako naman matatameme lang. At hindi rin sya yung tipong oo lang din ng oo sa mga bawat desisyon ko. In short alam nya kung saan lulugar at alam kung pano ako i-handle. Nakahanap ako ng katapat ko. Kasi I feel na in a relationship I need to be in total control at all times. And if I feel na weak yung personality ng guy, I knew na magkakaron kami ng problema, or if the guy’s palaban masyado yung tipong laging kontra rin at hindi rin marunong mag analyze ng nangyayari sa amin at di rin marunong i-control ako, the relationship is doom already.

For the first time, I feel controlled in a way na I don’t feel nasasakal ako and I feel I don’t have to be in total control for a relationship to work. And I don’t know why I’m feeling this emotion right now, when I know na okay naman yung guy na karelasyon ko. Hay naku divina! Stop expecting too much. Don’t label. Relax.

Lessons Learned:

1. Less expectation is better - as always
2. Relax

Tama na nga.

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I’m addicted again to cHoCoLaTeS. Kakauwi lang kasi ng mother ni Jai from Canada. Nagpabili ako kay Jai ng chocolates sa DutyFree. Goodness… I couldn’t get enough of Kisses. Tsk tsk tsk! Sarap eh!!! Especially pag depress ka.. Hehehe! Hay nako! Chocoholic!

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Humihilik pala ang aso noh! Hehehe! Aliw! Mandy is asleep. Sarap tulog ng baby ko… Lamig kasi… Si Lisa naman ayun… Nagupitan ko rin ang nails nya habang tulog kanina. Pag gising kasi yan gugupitan mo e mag aaway lang kami.

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Hay… Time for bed.

Allergies & Friday Night

Two nights ago I had to go to the hospital at 11:00 in the evening. I had an allergy attack. It was scary compared to my first experience. This time I couldn’t breath. I was taking a shower when it happened. I thought I was having asthma attack (which was crazy because I realized I don’t have any asthma in the first place); it was hard to take in air and I was feeling dizzy. When I looked in the mirror I was all red, my chest, my arms, my back, my neck. I got scared! I looked into my medicine kit but didn’t see any antihistamine. I yelled for my Ate Lita and told her to bring me to the hospital. I was sweating a lot but felt cold inside. My dogs were a little panicky, they were following me wherever I go, and I guess they knew something was wrong with me. I was scratching a lot and it was spreading rapidly. Ate Lita woke up Mercy and told her to come with us. I told them I think I just want to go the nearest hospital in our place. When we got there, luckily I was the only patient. I was given the proper medication and after five minutes I was breathing okay. The doctor told me to take 1 Virlix tablet a day before bedtime for the next five days. Goodness! Not that horrible medicine that makes me sleepy after 20 minutes of taking it. It was the same medicine I was prescribed with nine years ago. MY GOD! It’s been nine years since my last allergy attack? That long!? Hehehe! I remember it was shrimp that was not cooked well that gave me the allergies, but this time I don’t know what triggered the allergy. I ate what I usually ate. Well, except for the sardines. It’s been a long long time since I had them. But I’m not allergic to sardines! Nor eggs or chicken.. Goodness… How will I know what triggers my allergies? It’s like a – Bahala na syndrome. All I could do is to keep more antihistamine in my medicine kit just in case…

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I got my hair cut today. I tried this salon in Gateway. Fortunately, I loved the cut. I guess I found MY salon. It’s been one whole year since I had a decent haircut. The last cut I had was in Makati at Salon de Manila courtesy of Mariel’s hairdresser. I liked the cut there but it’s too expensive and too far. But at Menage, I kinda like it there. It’s not expensive plus they have a good ambiance and the most comfortable chairs. I’ve also tried their hot oil, it’s good also. Love the massage! :p

~~~~

Friday night… And I’m at home… I feel kinda depress lately. I don’t know why. While I’m with Jet, I often find myself staring at him. Just staring at him, especially when we sit opposite each other and he’s occupied with something… Usually while we’re having coffee together in our favorite coffee shop, I would look at him and often ask myself… “Is this it?” “Isn’t he bored with me?” “Am I boring him?” Know you know… all those paranoid questions. And I would ask him “Bored ka na ba?” and he would usually say no and looked at me with that you’re-being-crazy-again look. And then I would turn my head and avoid his eyes and change the topic.

It’s been two years. Two years of me and him, him and me. Just us. Two years. I haven’t had a relationship last more that eighteen months. I’m just being crazy I know. Maybe I’m having that time of the month again. Or maybe I’m feeling something deep inside me. Maybe I’m the one who’s bored. Maybe I’m just projecting it to him. If that’s the case, I don’t know if I should tell him or not. Because I don’t how he’ll take it. OR! Maybe because we’re seeing each other too much lately ever since vacation started. It doesn’t leave enough time for me to miss him because he’s been so available lately (for the last two weeks we’ve seen each other every other day). I don’t know. It’s like when I’m with him, I would constantly pick fight and when I’m not with him, I wanted to see and be with him. Crazy…

I don’t want to think that I’m bored with him because I know I love him very much and I don’t want any other man. I really do. Maybe the relationship just needs a little spice. Or maybe we’re doing the same things over and over again. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I should tell him all about this. It wouldn’t be fair if I leave him out in the dark. And I know this is something that both of us should deal with. I’m just afraid to tell him - when I know I shouldn’t be… because he loves me and he’ll understand.

I’m being stupid here. I think I need to stop this. I’m going nowhere. I NEED TO TALK TO HIM PERIOD.

It’s late, better sleep and take that medicine…. It’ll bring me to slumber…

Another Sleepless Night

It's 2am and I couldn't sleep again. Just finished my text brigade with Hazel and Kim... Kakalokah talaga. Bukas ko nalang i-kwekwento. Mahabang istorya. Buti pa si Mandy tulog na sa couch and Lisa is also asleep in her cage.

Hay… Makatulog na nga…

Books! Books! Books!

Today is Mandy's 1st birthday. I didn’t cook anything as I’ve planned. I just bought the foods. Nag enjoy naman ang mga dogs sa ice cream nila and so did Ate Lita and the rest of the angels.

After that Jet and I went to Pasig for the Powerbooks Warehouse Sale. Grabe! Nahilo ako sa daming books at nakakahilo rin dahil ang INIT sobra!!! I bought 2 Paulo Coelho books under 50% off (The Pilgrimage and The Fifth Mountain), a Milan Kundera (the one I wanted to buy kaso namamahalan ako for a small book, I was waiting for a sale sa NBS, luckily nauna ang PB mag sale!) under 20% off and a Vogue Make-Up book by Juliet Cohen under 20% off. Jet bought a couple of books about photography, something about rock and roll scandals and a Spanish dictionary, he wants to learn Spanish daw... I wanted to buy more but I couldn’t stand the heat. I guess I’ll be back nalang before April 1. I want the book my Kevin Aucoin. I hope it’ll be there pa by the time I return :(

(I love books. I really love them. Not just books by the authors I like but the book per se. I don’t know why. But when I’m in a library, a good library, I feel happy… Wait! Happy is an understatement… Ecstatic! Is the right word. Basta… Kaya one of my wish is to have a good library here in Quezon City just like in other countries.. Like sa area nila Ate Cindy. Talagang library in every sense.)

Anyways, we didn’t do anything today. Jet’s not feeling okay. We were supposed to watch Nanny McPhee but opted for a drink at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Mga adik sa Japanese Cherry Tea eh! Hehehe! After that, we decided to have dinner dapat at Que Rico, but I said I want a burger, so he bought nalang something from Bite Club. Tapos umuwi na kami. Sa house nalang daw namin kainin. He’s not really feeling okay. Aww…. Buti nalang at hindi matutuloy yung out-of-town nila tomorrow. Pwede syang magpahinga…

Ahhh..... It’s late already and yet sleep wouldn’t descend on me.

Dahil walang magawa...

(1)Who did you last go out with?
Jetong and Jai

(2) What do you want to receive on yourbirthday?
hhmm…. Nothing really… peace of mind…

(3) Reach your hand out to the right. What do you touch?
mouse

(4) What time did you sleep last night?
after I updated my blog

(5) What's the wallpaper on your computer?
azul

(6) What can you hear besides the computer?
tv and aircon

(7) Do you agree to the saying "to Forgive is toforget"?
forgetting is the hardest part in forgiving…

(8) When, where was the last time tears startedto roll down your cheek?
tears of happiness… I guess last Thursday…

(9) What/who makes you happy?
jet, the people who surrounds me at home, and of course my dogs

(10) What makes you sad?
cruel, insecure people who shows nothing but hatred and jealousy towards me

(11) What are your favorite books?
madami! Paulo Coelho books, Harry Potter Series, Christopher Paolini books…. dami pa…

(12) What would you like to have right at thismoment which seems totally impossible?
to be away from negative people, long vacation with jet

(13) Who will you turn to if you have a hugeproblem that not all your friends know about?
jet

(14) What's your favorite song at the moment?
Lifehouse parin and Simon Webbe (nice voice)

(15) What was the last song that kept ringing onyour mind last night before you sleep?
don’t remember na..

(16) What was the best event that happened lastyear?
jet and I had our first Christmas vacation together… sa place na very memorable sa akin.

(17) Where did you go today?
stayed at home lang…

(18) Last ride?
taxi

(19) Who were you with? Were they cool?
my last ride? With jai, she dropped me off at home on her way to work last night

(20) Have you gone to the beach just w/ yourbuddies?
yeah… with mariel sa Puerto Gallera and with Jai sa White Cove long long time ago..

(21)Do you love sunsets?
awwww….. romantic sya!

(22)When is your b-day?
October 27

(23)What are your wishes for your birthday?
world peace!

(24)Who do you wanna be w/ on the day of yourbirthday?
jet

(25)Have you ever felt that you've been taken forgranted?
many times but I’ve learned my lesson now…

(26) thing/s you regret?
sa umpisa you regret things.. but when you think about it, nothing happens without a reason and they happened so you’ll know what your purpose is. So I guess… no I don’t have anything to regret about. Charge it to experience nalang.

(27) Is there anything else you want to dobesides answering this survey?
watch Hostel… pero tinatamad ako…

(28)What's the most important sentence/s that lingers in your mind right now?
wala naman as of this moment..

(29)cookies n' cream or double dutch?
cookies & cream forever!

(30)Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedez?
chocolate cake!

(31)Do you know how to drive?
yeah but not legally

(32) Do you like spongebob?
cute… pero not an avid fan.

(33) Do you know how to play the guitar?
wish ko lang!

(34) Who's the last person you texted?
si jenelyn…la kasi water…

(35) KFC or Kenny Rogers?
KFC!

(37)Beach or CAMPING?
beach! Like to swim and sun bathe, yoko ng mga insects diba dami nun sa camping??? Hehehe!!!

(38) Do you find yourself sexy and beautiful?
it’s all in the mind…

(39) Hotdogs or cheesedogs?
hotdogs!

(40) Do you like Shawarma?
sus! Of course! I like chilly stuff… Like ko yung shawarma sa greenhills!

(41)is there someone you're missing right now?
ok lang naman… sister ko and my nephews..

(42)Do you love someone right now?
oo naman… I love my nanay, jet, my angels, my friends and my dogs…

(43) Where did you go last Friday?
sa Marikina

(44) What did you do there?
dinner, uminom at mag videoke

(45) Who were you with?
Jai, ate tina, ate tess, kuya inggo, ela and sara

Happy Nights

I just got home from Marikina. Had dinner there, graduation kasi ni Ela. After having a nice dinner, we couldn’t resist to drink kahit isang case lang ng redhorse :p Hehehe! Kahit may work pa si jai after the dinner. Late nalang daw syang papasok. I had fun with our videoke. Medyo wala na nga sa tono kanta parin ng kanta… Hehehe!

Last night, Jet and I tried Duck Duck ( chinese resto) in Gateway Mall. I read in the newspaper they have good and very affordable foods. They’re right.. Never tasted such good sharks fin dim sum in my life. Favorite ko na sya. The roasted duck is so sinful! I had to refrain from eating the skin… parang kumain ka na rin ng pork. But it was good, really good. During dinner I thought about Jai and quickly sent her a message if she likes to eat dinner with us. Iniisip pala nya if she’s going to work or not. Dahil love daw nya ako, sumunod nalang sya sa amin. After dinner, sabi nya di na daw sya magwowork, layas nalang daw kami. So we did. I remember her telling me that she never been to Baywalk. So I suggested why not go there nalang. As usual, parang weekend dun. Di ata nawawalan ng tao dun kahit anong araw. May mga bands parin at ang daming naglalakad. Nakaabot na kami sa ice monster tapos pabalik na kami nung tinopak si jetong at ginagaya yung mga statue na pag hinulugan mo ng money eh gagalaw. Kalokah yun! At kinunsinte pa ni Jai at sya ang taga hulog kunwari tapos gagalaw si Jet. Tawa kami ng tawa. Sobra! Yung mga tao nakatingin sa amin, may ibang natatawa may ibang nagugulat lang. Nagkastomach cramps ako kakatawa. We had such a good time. Sana maulit ulit.

Hhmm… Lapit na Holy Week… As usual, Jet and I are going to continue our yearly practice, our Bisita Iglesia. This time, madadagdagan kami ng 5 more people. Jai, Ate Tina, Ate Tess, and the kids, Ela and Sara will be going with us. Maybe after the visit, I’ll bring them to Baywalk. I know they’ve never been there (the kids will enjoy the place). I think konti na siguro tao dun kasi holiday. I’m looking forward for this vacation.

Vacation! Gusto kong pumunta ng beach!!!! Whaaa! Kaso walang panahon pa. Just one weekend is all I need! :)

Tomorrow is Mandy’s first birthday. Wala namang party, but I’m going to buy a cake (lite cake from goldilocks, pwede sa dog yun!), I’ll cook spaghetti and vanilla ice cream. Vanilla para pwede mga dogs kong kumain. La naman bisita, I just want to make Mandy feel special on her day! :)

Hay… I miss my friends. It’s been a long long time since we got together. Dapat maka pagplan na ng isang overnight.

What a week...

What a week! Since Sunday till yesterday isang beses lang ako hindi umalis ng bahay. Hindi na carry ng powers kong lumabas ng sunod sunod. Tumatanda na yata! Hehehe!

sUnDAy, Jet and I had “our day” we watched Date Movie. Medyo corny nga eh. Pero pwede nang pagtiagaan.. Hehehe! Went to Tiendesitas. I bought some shoes. Very nice and cheap! After dinner we went home to my place to finish his project, late narin kami natapos. So, puyat.

MoNdAy, I didn’t go out. Bahay lang. But I slept late dahil sa internet na yan.. Nagkadrain-drain na si suzy sa sobrang adik sa internet di ko na napansin… Hehehe! Muntik nang mawalan ng power.

tUeSdAy, dahil walang ginagawa si Jet and I’m bored at home, pumunta nalang sya sa Q.C. at dahil wala kaming magawang dalawa we drove around the metro nalang… Ayaw namin sa mall dahil daming tao. Sabi ko punta kami Nipa Hut Restaurant. Hindi pa nya kasi napupuntahan yung place. Overlooking Pasig City. He loved the place kasi daw relaxing yung view… Parang OL sa Antipolo pero at least itong sa Nipa Hut malapit lang. Di sya makapaniwala na may ganun sa gitna ng city. Hehehe! We had a couple of beers. Sarap ng food at mura pa. We went home late again. So, puyat.

WeDnEsDaY, I went to one of our supplier in San Juan. We had a meeting. Kakapagod at nakaka drain mag-isip lalo na kung ganun ang kausap mo… Medyo nakakaintimidate pero she’s good. Hehehe! Nakakahiya nga e… Ako at ang secretary ko pa ang pinamerienda… Hehehe! Bait naman e. After that meeting which lasted from 2-5:30pm umuwi lang ako sa bahay para maligo ulit at magbihis… At around 7:00pm kasi kami naman ni Jet magkikita. Ewan ko ba dun… problemado lang sa father dear nya… Aw… Maski pagod na ako… okay lang.. he needed someone to talk too… Sabi ko punta nalang kami ng baywalk, kasi di pa ako nakakapunta dun ng ganung oras. Late na nun mga 9:30 na ata. Pagdating dun.. Wow! Daming tao! Nilakad namin ang buong baywalk. Daming makikita kaya hindi nakakapagod. Maaaliw ka… People from all walks of life makikita mo dun. Ito naman si Jet picture ng picture ng kung ano ano. Ako nahihiya e… Hehehe! After that, nag drive drive parin around that area… Sa Mall of Asia.. I didn’t know meron palang Mall of Asia… He said world’s biggest mall daw dito sa Asia, I don’t know if it’s true. Tapos pinakita rin nya school ng sister nya na Manila Doctors na mukha ngang mall o parang country club ang dating e. Aliw! After that, umuwi na kami. Drive thru sa Jollibee but ate it sa parking lot nila. Hehehe! All we did was talk and talk and talk… Walang sawang pag-uusap. By 2am I was at home na. But we still stayed sa garage naman for a few cigs and said goodnight at 2:30 am! Grabe!

tHuRsDaY is payroll day. I was up early, ayos mga papeles. Papers ng suppliers and two employees who are leaving tapos have to go to the bank pa at pumila ng napakahaba! Imagine! When I got there my number was C19 pero they were serving A27 palang! Grabe! Matagal tagal na hintayan yun… Nag lunch break muna kami ng PA ko from 11:45 till 1:30pm Tamang-tama lang naman, when we got back to the bank lapit na number ko. Got home at around 2:30pm, nag start na akong mag payroll… Medyo sleepy at tired narin ako nun. Kulang na nga sa tulog tapos isip ka pa ng isip, diba nakakadrain talaga?! Tapos may dinner pa akong pupuntahan that night. Hay! Hindi naman ako makahindi kasi close friends ko sila and they expect me to be there… Nung natapos ko yung payroll sabi ko iidlip lang ako! Pero when I woke up 7:30 na! Late na! Marikina pa naman yung pupuntahan ko. Ako nalang pala hinihintay para makapagdinner na. After dinner konting kwentuhan tapos inuman na! 4 lang kaming umiinom at naka isang case kami ng redhorse! Grabe!!! Sa awa ng dios… eto buhay pa! As usual hinatid nila ako. Bangenge ang lola mo! Inabot kami ng 2am. Pero masaya naman sobra!

ToDaY, wala kaming work (every Friday) so I woke up super late na… plus with a hangover. Grabe! Sabi ko tamang may amats lang pero not to the extent na hindi ko na maalala kung pano ako naka akyat dito sa room ko kaso sa sobrang saya hindi na namalayan tagay ng tagay! Hehehe!

My dogs I think don’t remember me anymore… Imagine mo naman ilang araw ko na hindi sila nakakasama sa room ko… Dun sila sa yaya nila… Hehehe! Sosyal may yaya pa ang aso! Hindi kasi pwedeng iwan mag isa lang si Lisa.. Naghahanap ng tao yun at hindi titigil sa kakangawa… I miss them na nga e.

Hay nako! It was tiring but it’s all worth it. Kasi you got to spend it with people you like and love. It’s been awhile since naging ganun yung pagkikita namin ni jet na almost everyday nakikita kami and with my friends from Marikina.. tuwing may okasyon lang kami nagkikita. Kaya okay lang…

Ngayon naman si Jai nagaayang magshopping.. Hay! Hopefully di na late kami uuwi! Sana! :) Whaaaa!!!!!!!!! Kaya ko paaa!!!

Understanding Men

This is really funny. Some of them are brutally true and honest. I thought, oo nga noh! Lahat nalang ng mga post sa bulletin board sa friendster are always pertaining about women’s feelings and angst. Not a lot are said about men’s point of view. So when I read this one it kinda reminded me of what Jet and I have been discussing and debating about in some of our long drives and café sessions.

Read on…


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, or Basketball.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It'slike camping.

Advice from Oprah about men ...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

Saying Sorry

We patched things up. I was the first one to send him a message. Nakakatawa nga e. I was all apologies and all he said was “muka m! fanet k!” Ahhh! After I got that answer I knew we’re okay. He’s back with his old antics. Ganun lang naman yang lalakeng yan. Kung hindi nya siniseryoso yung away namin hindi magtatagal yung paghingi ko ng apology, if the quarrel is a lot deeper he wouldn’t respond with my initial message or even my call. I guess, hindi ata tumalab ang pangaaway ko… Hehehe! Nakakagulat lang kasi. While talking a while ago, I asked him bakit ganun yung reaction nya. Kasi after leaving my house last night he said hindi na daw nya inisip yung nangyari…he said nababaliw lang naman daw ako.. (maybe I was). So instead of getting mad and bringing that anger with him eh iniwan na daw nya sa Q.C. Aliw lang kasi he’s not like that before. Inisip nalang nya na wag nalang palalaain. He’ll wait nalang daw for me to get over my anger and after a day or two he’ll call to ask me kung normal na daw ba ako… Hehehe!

I agree with him when he commented that the argument was a waste of time. Hindi daw sinisiryoso. Hay… Buti nalang. Buti nalang at nasasakyan nya ang mga katopakan ko.
Ewan ko ba. Minsan ganun sya. Okay lang sa kanya mga away namin, minsan naman grabe! Mga three to four days kaming hindi mag-uusap. Papalamig ba. Minsan nga sinasabi ko na hindi ako ang mauunang magsasabi ng sorry o tatawag o magtetext. Kaso the next day, ayun! Wala na. Ako na ang nauna. Kasi naman alam ko namang ako ang unang nangaway… Hehehe!

Hay buhay nga naman. I’m really glad he’s not like other guys na maiksi lang ang pasensya or yung mga tipong sobrang ma-pride na parang nababawasan ang pagkalalake nila pag nagsorry sila o pag nauna silang mag make ng move.

After two years, I’ve seen him changed and mature. I’m happy because despite all the struggles and problems that we encountered none of us gave up. Gusto talaga namin magwork itong relasyon.

Tama na nga kadramahan... Basta importante bati na kami.. Hehehe!

Dim-witted me…

We had a fight last night and I don’t know why, I just snapped.

Last Friday we didn’t go out as we usually do because he had a seminar to attend and I just went to Marikina to celebrate Jai’s birthday. I got too much to drink so he decided to fetch me even though it was already twelve in the evening and he’ll be coming from Muntinlupa. He brought me home, changed my clothes and put me to bed. Not much talk, he just stared at me while I slept. At around 3am, he went home. And me, I was too drunk to know anything not until the next day and he told me what happened. Aww... it was so sweet of him… And I really appreciate what he did. It was a good day right?

Sunday. He arrived at around 3pm his class was from 9am till 12nn. We went to Loyola Memorial Park to pay the caretaker of my father’s grave. After that we met some friends there and stayed for a while till 5:30pm. After that we went to Gateway Mall to buy some stuff for my mother. Around 7:30 we went to Tiendesitas to eat our favorite empanada and buy stuff for my dogs. Then went to my place to watch T.V. until he goes home.

The fight. I don’t know how it all started. We were talking about our schedule. That Tuesday won’t be possible for us to see each other again because he’ll be going out of town for a project. Bummer! I don’t why I was irritated with what he said. But it all started there. I was angry but not to him but the schedule and the things I can’t control or beyond me. I was irritated because I told him “bitin” yung pagkikita namin. Maybe he was tired, but because of that he got mad too. We we’re shouting things that I don’t remember anymore. But! Walang murahan ha. We might jokingly mura each other like “gagah ka kasi” or “siraulo ka” when we goof around but when we fight, we don’t say those stuff to each other, maybe because we respect each other too much to do that. What I remember is that I was irritable the whole morning of that day. I was extra sensitive. Maybe it’s just time of the month. I don’t know. I just have this urge to make him pikon or pick fight. I just want to see him mad. Crazy I know. Maybe I’m having PMS.

Oh life! He went home that night angry. He didn’t message me if he got home safe. I had trouble sleeping. I didn’t want to text him because I know he won’t respond. And I hate that. So I just let him be. Let things cool down. Come to think of it, it’s been a long long long time since we had a fight like this. We don’t usually argue because of our schedules. I just don’t know why I had the urge to pick fight that night and be mega sensitive. I don’t want to justify my actions. I just have to say sorry. I know it was my fault. Just have to look for the right time to talk to him. He’s busy in school and I don’t want to cause more stress.

~~~~

I just read Ate Cindy’s e-mail it’s a forward message about finding a guy. After reading it I thought about Jet and how it very much reminds me of him. Funny, maybe my sister could sense that Jet and I had a fight. Hehehe! For me the letter was like a splash of cold water. Wake up! Don’t push him away… Few men are like that now a days… I’m lucky to have him. He’s not good looking but he has a good heart and understanding mind. And I’m just plain stupid.

Here’s an excerpt:

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

Seven Things

Seven things to do before I Die
1. Explore the Philippines
2. Go to Greece
3. Go to Spain
4. Go to Italy
5. Read more books
6. Learn another language
7. Drive

Seven things I cannot Do
1. Drive
2. Speak another language
3. Watch a horror movie alone
4. Give up easily
5. Forget people who've touch my life
6. I can forgive but I can never forget
7. Steal

Seven things that attract me to my other half
1. His love
2. His humor (he drives me nuts)
3. His love for music
4. His honesty
5. His understanding
6. His fidelity
7. He's good in …… (hihihi!)

Seven things I say
1. I love you
2. I’m sorry
3. Beh
4. Oh my God!
5. Bruha!
6. Shit!
7. Fuckers!

Seven films I love
1. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
2. 50 First Dates
3. Mixed Nuts
4. Bruce Almighty
5. The Truth About Cats and Dogs
6. Hitch
7. City Of Angels

Seven Books I Love
1. Harry Potter Series
2. The Alchemist
3. The Little Prince
4. Eleven Minutes
5. Kissing The Witch
6. Veronica Decides To Die
7. Coraline

Ex

Before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin. Tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?" Ngumiti ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan lang." Pwede mo kong lokohin pero wag kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong palitan pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya sakin. Pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo. Kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan, wala ka nang babalikan.

Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala. Kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na.Tapos pag nahulog ka na, ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila. Pero dapat walang iiyak at smile lang tayo. Punyeta, anong silbi ng karma? I fell in love and got hurt but I didn't shed too much tears nor did I ask him to love me again. Instead, I stood up proudly and Simple lang para hindi ka masaktan. Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din. Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin. Pero kapag umiyak ka, tanga ka! Ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo pa? Pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, wag mo siyang sisihin! Kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan at sabihin mong, "Ingat, tanga ka pa naman!" Masakit pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo. Pero wag kang magagalit ng husto.Kahit papano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, diba? Kaya for the last time yakapin mo siya at ibulong mo, "Gago, kukulamin kita!"

Girls, talo daw tayo sa mga boys? Papayag kayo? Sige, pag niligawan tayo, sagot agad. Pag iniwan tayo? Ok lang. Kapag sinabi nilang, "Uy, ex ko." Alam niyo sagot diyan? "Ay, ambisyoso."

If the one you love doesn't love you back, don't get depressed. Just think about it for a while, maybe cry a bit then wipe your tears and say, "Ang weird naman niya. Di siya pumapatol sa magaganda!"

You only got one life so live it well., one heart so take good care, one soul so keep it pure. One boyfriend? What a waste! Make it two or more! Sayang ganda natin! Pag sinabi sayo ng mahal mo na ayaw na niya sayo, hayaan mo lang. Wag kang iiyak at magpapakagago! Imbis na iyakan mo siya, ngitian mo lang at sabihin mo ang ganito, "So, pano? Bye na! Naghihintay na ang kapalit mo!"

Who cares about break-ups? Oo nga, masakit. Makirot sa puso. Pero tandaan mo: a break-up isn't only an end to a relationship. It's also a beginning of a new one and an end to a living hell called "ex".

~~~~

Tet sent this to me... You’re right mare. We should've done this before... Hehehe! But in a more serious note, I am grateful with my past relationships because they made me stronger and mature. I guess, not committing the same mistake is the best lesson I got. Now that we’re both in a good relationship, diba worth it naman all the things we went through? Otherwise we wouldn't meet our wonderful boyfriends… Hehehe!!!

Do-It-Yourself indeed!

Funny thing happened to me yesterday. I don’t know if you’ll find it funny or something na super duper asar talaga. After we parked at Gateway Mall, Jet discovered ang tigas daw ng manibela. After a quick look under the hood, he said drain daw ang power steering fluid. So we decided to look for one at Do-It-Yourself store inside the mall. When we entered the store, this guard, this trying-hard-to-look-mean guard, suddenly told me with no air of respect “Paki iwan ang bag!” nag sabi pa sya ng “paki” eh pasigaw at galit naman ang tono nya. Right that instant I felt my face turned red and hot. Lumingon ako sa kanya at sabay taas ng kilay, “Sigurado ka!?” Hindi sya makasagot, ewan ko ba kung iling o tango yung ginawa nya e. Nung hindi sya sumagot I told him, “E pano pera ko!? Nandito!” Sabay irap. Fuckers talaga! Eh si Jetong was already talking to a sales rep so he didn’t know what was going on. Nung lumapit ako sa kanya tinuro na sya sa baba so sumunod nalang ako sa kanya. While walking away I heard someone asked the guard kung ano daw yung commotion, I don’t know what the guard said but the person who asked him followed us downstairs. My goodness!!! Talk about discrimination. Tapos to top it all wala pa silang power steeling fluid! Kala ko ba do-it-yourself… eh di naman pala kumpleto. Ewan!

Nakakaasar kasi. Just because we were not dressed o naka porma eh ganun nalang kami tingnan. Purket naka pambahay lang kami. So what!? Dun ba based kung ano pagkatao mo?! Ano ang pwede mong gawin?! At laman ng wallet mo?! Sus! Gusto kong sampalin ng pera yung guard eh… Ano palagay nya magshoshoplift kami?! Grabe! Ang nakakaasar pa nun, while we were leaving the store biglang may pumasok na isang family na may mga bag na dala, he didn’t asked them to leave their belongings. That really pissed me off. Tiningnan ko talaga ng masama yung guard eh. Yoko lang talaga mag cause the scene. Gusto ko pa sanang humirit eh. Sayang! Babalikan ko yung guard na yun. Hehehe!

Nakakapagtaka lang talaga, I’ve been going to that place countless times. Pero ngayon lang ako napagsabihan ng ganun. Nakaka degrade lang. Kasi buti kung lahat ng tao sinabihan nya pero kung ikaw lang diba it’s clearly a bigotry. Bigot! Asar talaga!

I’m reacting this way because I’m not like that. I don’t judge people of their social standing or character based on their appearance because I don’t want to be judged too. I try to keep an open mind towards other people. I know the guard is doing his job but I hoped he was fair with his judgment. Basta! May araw din yun sa akin! Tomorrow maybe! I’ll be meeting Jet for a lunch date. Maybe I’ll drop by there to buy some stuff. Hehehe!

Sinabi ko nga kay Jet eh.. He jokingly said “Ano!? Balikan natin?!” Hay nako! As if naman! Nanood nalang kami ng The Pink Panther… Yun lang... Basta asar yung guard na yun... May araw rin yun sa akin.

Tiendesitas

Ever since Jet and I discovered this place and saw it as a haven for pet lovers, we go there as often as we could. Seeing dogs and being around them somehow relaxes me. I think it’s my therapy. Plus Mac's Original Vigan Empanada and Okoy are very addictive. Like yesterday, we just when there to have a couple of empanadas even though it was a bit late already. Grabe! The 15-20 minutes wait is all worth it. To have that hot and tasty empanada dip into original Ilocos vinegar… Yum! Yum! Syet! Naglalaway nanaman ako. Hehehe!

Seriously, the place is relaxing. Hindi masyado crowded. I guess siguro sa umpisa palang yan.. Maybe after SM Pasig opens magiging crowded na… Hay.. Sayang. I really like it there pa naman. Daming food kiosk na pagpipilian, mga kikay tiange, antique stores , garden supply and the best among the rest – daming pet stores! Mahihilo ka kakapili kung san ka bibili ng supply mo. And you get the chance to interact with other pet lovers and their pets. Di katulad sa mga malls na medyo mahal pa at konti lang ang choices at ang kausap mo lang eh mga masusungit na tindera. Parking is the only hassle... liit lang ang area for parking kasi e. But still, magtiatiaga kami ni Jet mag ikot ikot basta maka-hang out lang dun. Hehehe!

Love Wounds

"di-bi-na"

Just three days old! Jetong likes to call it his "love wounds". Drama noh... Grabe! Wa ako ma say!

Oh My God!

Alam ko na gift ni Jetong sa akin for our second year anniversary! I forced him to tell me last Friday. He's bad talaga in lying. Hehehe!!! And I can't believe he did such thing! He already had it done yesterday. And according to the reaction of people who have seen it… it’s very very very nice daw! I can’t wait to see it on Tuesday!

Until now, I can’t understand how someone could do something like that. I know people will do anything in the name of love but to have your girlfriend or boyfriends name etched on your body is too much! Wouldn’t you say? Of course it is! And of course it is oh soooo romantic. But there are also factors that you should consider like what if you guys break-up (i hope not!), what happens to the tattoo? You have it erased? What will your next partner think? Wouldn’t you worry what he or she will feel about it? But then, Jetong is Jetong. On the other hand, I really really appreciate it. And honestly, this is the first time I felt appreciated and loved so much. Yung pinakita yung pagpapahalaga sa pagkatao mo, sa pagmamahal na binibigay mo sa kanya ng walang takot na husgahan ng ibang tao o mapintasan. Walang material na bagay makakasukli nun and I think his way of tattooing my name to his body is his way of saying “thank you for making a difference in my life”.

Until now I’m still lost for words to describe how I feel. I still couldn’t believe he did it. Actually, he was planning to have his third tattoo last year pa for his birthday and he wants that tattoo to be something that would signify me. Like my zodiac sign. (But the plan never pushed through - until now) What really surprised me was I never thought he would tattoo my name. Bonga talaga! Biglang humaba hair ko tuloy! Hihihi!

Now, I don’t know if I could equal that in any other way. I'm too chicken to have anything tattooed on me eh! But he said I don’t need too. Enough na daw yung mga ginawa ko for him or the things I gave him in the past.

Hay nako! Basta… Can’t wait for Tuesday so I’ll see it with my own eyes. Ganda ganda daw e…

Love you Jetong!!! Grabeee!!!

HaPpY VaLeNtInEs DaY!!!

Last night we were supposed to have a simple dinner at Bellini's, located at Marikina Shoe Expo, Cubao. But when we got there at around six, the waiter told us they’re only accepting people who had reservation beforehand as they are fully booked that night. (Why didn’t I called and made that reservation!) What a bummer… Jet didn’t want to go elsewhere and I was really not particular that night. Just want to be with him - anywhere. But he wanted that day to be a little bit special because it would be our first time to celebrate hearts day just the two of us (corny noh?!). Last year we were with my best friend Jai at Eastwood just fooling around the place. But last night was different. Then he told me to just seat back and relax… He was heading to C5 and I thought “Hmm… baka Eastwood uli!” but I was wrong, he drove passed Eastwood and I thought again maybe he’s bringing me to his house in Muntinlupa and celebrate it with his friends or his siblings. But I was wrong again… Passing the Susana Heights Exit we headed south even more. Hay… he told me to sleep nalang muna.. and I did because I was kinda tired and the motion of the car is rocking me to sleep… When I woke up we were in Sta. Rosa going to Tagaytay! I looked at him and saw him smiling… “Tagaytay noh!?!” I asked him, “Yup!” was all he said. I was ecstatic! Aww… How romantic naman! I told him bakit ang layo naman… He said if we’re going to stay in the metro area it would seem too be any ordinary day for us… Eh dinner in Tagaytay is not like we could do every time we meet daw… Hehehe!

When we got there a lot of people had the same idea. We decided to go to Josephine’s. We had a wonderful dinner. Ang lamig lamig sobra! I loved the food, the steamed Lapu-lapu and the grilled chicken ceasar. We wanted to have desert sana but then we were so full already… When we left the resto we drove around.. But it was too foggy to see anything nice and it started to rain. At around 11:30 we decided to go home. It was a slow drive back, trying to enjoy every moment of it. All the while I was thinking this monster can be sweet when you least expected it. It’s not in his nature kasi to be romantic and all. Through out dinner he was acting as if we were the only couple there (kulang nalang subuan ako!). Hay… Pag-ibig nga naman… Kung gugustuhin lang, buong buhay mo magbabago talaga.

We had coffee at Eastwood before going home. Konting kwentuhan about us… On the 22th kasi we’ll be celebrating our 2^nd year anniversary. He told me to expect something big… My goodness! What could it be??? I still have a week to make him kulit. Hehehe! He’s not talking daw because he wants to see my reaction when I get it. Hhmm.. all the more making me oh so curious!

Well, anyway, that was my valentine’s day – simple.. Nothing big or anything but definitely something new for me. Truest celebration of what the occasion was…

Just two people in love.

Trip to the Vet

Last Sunday we brought my three dogs to their doctor. It was Lisa's first trip to my vet since I got her a month ago. She's three months old now. Finally had her anti-rabies vaccine and a follow-up vaccine of 5-in-1, her de-worming isn't due for at least 2 more months. She’s in excellent condition.

Mandy on the other hand is sick. She's been shredding a lot of her fur and wouldn't eat right. My vet told me she might have heartworm disease. I’ve only started reading books/magazines about pets and I’ve read some topics about heartworm disease and how it affects our pets. But what I didn’t know was a lot of owners who have dogs infected by this disease had their pets put to sleep instead of going under the knife. My vet said the reason was they’re not sure if the dog could recover from the operation or the disease be cured. So instead of having their pet suffer, they resort to mercy killing. Now now now, that is something I don’t want to do. I love my dogs dearly. If vaccine and medication could help, no matter how much they cost, I would do it. For now, my vet gave her heartworm vaccine, de-worming, medication and a new vitamin. At present I think the vaccines are helping Mandy fight the disease. She’s eating well and isn’t shredding that much. Thank goodness!!! She still has two more vaccines left.

Stanley is as always healthy as ever. I don’t have any problem with him every time we visit the vet. He also had de-worming & heartworm vaccine.

Three dogs and three different personalities. Having them all together in one room could be a complete chaos. Lisa is so loud and always craves for attention; Mandy loves to be scratch and likes to be greeted first; Stanley (pogi) is the quiet one but when Mandy’s there… naku! Sasakit ulo mo! Kakasaway! Hehehe!

At present they keep me busy and happy. Help me with my stress. I just wish Lisa and Mandy could get along… For now I try to keep them separated and limit their interaction… Mandy gets easily irritated with Lisa’s constant barking. After 5 minutes of playing Mandy gets angry and would try to bite Lisa’s head... Just like any ordinary sisters… Hehehe! I love them so much… Mandy’s birthday is on March 26 while Stanley’s on the 5^th... it’s a double celebration for their first year of life…

Hay buhay...

Dalawang linggo. Ang gusto ko lang gawin ay umalis kung may pagkakataon. Lumayo kahit sandali mula sa mga negatibong nakapaligid sa akin. Maski alam kong sa aking pag uwi ay nariyan parin sila. Kahit sandali maalis ko sa aking isipan ang mga problema.

Hindi ko lubusang maisip kung bakit nya nasabi iyon. Maski ba hindi nya harapang sinabi at isang mapapagkatiwalaang tao ang nag paabot sa aking ng balita. Mas paniniwalaan ko ang nagsumbong sa akin. At bakit hindi? Sa aking opinyon, mas tao pa silang nagsabi sa akin dahil alam nila ang katotohanan. Nakakatawa lang talaga. Hindi naman ako agad agad na nagalit dahil alam ko sa isang banda mababanggit nila iyon at gagamiting pang laban sa aking pagkatao.

Ano ba ang pinaguugatan nitong problemang ito? Napakalaki kung aking iisa-isahin pa. Pero sa totoo lang, itong kanyang sinabi ang pinaka naapektuhan ako. Maski ang ibang taong malapit sa akin ay nagalit at sinabing huwag ko na raw kausapin o pansinin sya. Noong una kahit katiting ay may natitira pa akong respeto sa kanya. Pero pagkatapos nyang sabihin iyon laban sa akin ay ayoko na. Tama na siguro yung pinakita kong pagiging tao kung ako’y kanyang kausapin. Sa talikuran lang pala sya magaling. Bakit hindi nya sabihin sa akin ng harapan? Ikaw ba naman ay akusahang hindi mo inaalagaan ang iyong kinalakihang ina dahil hindi mo sya tunay na ina, hindi ka ba masasaktan? Simula nung umalis ang aking Ate patungong Canada, inako ko na ang responsibilidad sa pag aaruga sa aming ina sapagkat ako nalang ang natitirang “anak” na kasama nya sa bahay. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nya nasabi iyon. Sya na hindi naman namin kasama sa bahay ng buong araw. Hindi naman nya nakikita at di naman nya alam kung anong nangyayari. Yun ba ang dahilan nya para sabihin iyon? Dahil hindi nga nya nakikita? Nakakaawa sya. Wala lang syang masabi laban sa akin at sa mga kasambahay namin na matagal nang nagseserbisyo sa aming pamilya. Kung pupunta man sya ay wala na syang bukang bibig kundi reklamo, puna at pagkakagastusan. Bakit hindi sya magkusang loob at sya mismo gumawa ng mga inuutos nya? Bakit hindi sya ang gumastos at ibigay sa kanya ina? Tutal ay anak rin sya. Ewan ko ba. Hindi naman sya ganyan noon. Hindi sya ganyan noong narito pa si Ate. Bakit ngayon lang sya nagbubunganga at nagrereklamo na animo’y nagugulangan sya at mauubusan ng mana. Ayoko man maging marahas sa aking pananalita pero ito ay totoo at aking nararamdaman. Kung totoo ngang hindi ko inaalagaan ang kanilang ina ang makakapagsabi lang nyan ay ang mga tao ditto sa aming bahay at mga taong nakakakita kay Nanay. Kung sya ay pinababayaan dapat hindi ganyan ang kanyang itsura. Ang ilang bagay na nakakaepekto kay Nanay ay hindi ko na saklaw. May mga bagay o taong nakakaapekto sa kanya na hindi ko naman makokontrol at sana alam ng taong iyon ang ginagawa nya sa kanyang ina. Sa bagay na iyan hindi lang ako ang nakakakita o nakakaobserba. Sana lang maliwanagan ang iyong pag-iisip. Kung ano man ang tinuturo sayo ng iyong magaling na “attorney”, lahat yan babalik sa inyo. Mangilabot kayo! Matakot kayo sa karma!

Hindi ako takot sa inyo. Magsumbong man kayo sa lahat ng kamaganak natin at siraan ako. Wala akong pakialam. Hindi ako naghahanap ng kakampi o nagpapaawa sa kanila tulad ng ginagawa nyo. Dahil alam ko merong nakakakita at nakakaalam ng katotohanan at Sya lang ang maaring maghusga sa akin. Gawin nyo na ang lahat ng paraan, plano, binabalak nyo. Gawin nyo ng gawin. Ang mga bagay na nakuha sa mabilisang paraan ay hindi magtatagal. Ang mga mabagay na nakuha sa masamang paraan ay hindi nagbubunga ng mabuti.

Minsan, nalulungkot rin ako. Dahil hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nauwi sa ganito ang relasyon naming magkakapatid. Nakakapagod. Pero siguro ito’y isang pagsubok. Siguro sa pagdating ng takdang panahon, maayos rin ang lahat. Pero ngayon, hindi muna. Ayoko muna.

Sa ngayon, ang kinukunan ko ng lakas ay ang mga taong naniniwala sa aking kakayahan. Sa mga taong tunay na nagmamahal at nagmamalasakit sa akin, ang mga taong mapapagkatiwalaan ko maski hindi ko sila kadugo.

~~~~

Noong isang gabi, nandito lang kami ni Jet sa bahay. Sandaling nakatulog ako at nagising na nakayakap sya sa akin. Bigla nalang ako naluha dahil sa pagkakataong iyon, naramdaman ko ang kapayapaan, naramdaman ko na parang sinasabi nyang lahat ay maayos rin. Madrama lang akong sadya nitong mga nakakaraang araw. Dala narin siguro ng maraming iniisip na pakiramdam ko’y sasabog na ako. Pag kapiling ko lang sya tsaka lang ako nagiging masaya. At sa mga araw na dapat kami’y magkita doon lang ako nabubuhayan. Nagpapasalamat lang ako dahil nandyan sya para makinig at magbigay ng payo kung kailangan ko. Maski minsan tinotopak na ako. Masaya naman sya dahil natutulungan nya ako kahit papaano. Masaya rin ako dahil kahit anong mangyari nandyan sya at hindi bumibitiw. Hay… sa banding huli, pasalamat narin ako dahil sa lahat ng mga nangyayaring negatibo sa buhay ko may mga bagay parin na nagpapaligaya sa akin. Kahit mga simpleng bagay lang at alam kong may tunay na nagmamahal sa akin.

~~~~

Ilang araw nalang araw na ng mga puso… Sabi nya kami’y mag didinner lang. Gusto daw nya subukan itong isang restaurant na nakita nya sa may Cubao area. Medyo tago syang restaurant. Ika nga liblib at hindi masyadong matao, pero sa tingin nya maganda at romantic daw. Bellini’s Italian Restaurant sa may Marikina Shoe Expo. Gusto ko rin subukan yun. Nabasa at nakita ko sa isang tv show. Matagal tagal narin yata yung restaurant na yun.

~~~~

Hay buhay parang life….