
"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still love although they've been hurt before."
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
my babies...

Sunday, June 17, 2007
Remembering Tatay...
November 14, 1928 - April 28, 1999





*************************************************************
The hand i still miss...

Thank you Tatay for everything...
I miss you so much....
I Love You...
Monday, June 11, 2007
?
I’m becoming depressed or should I say frustrated with my relationship with Jet. I don’t know. It’s been my issue ever since he started work. I’ve talked it over with some friends. They’ve given me advises. Advises that I’ve tried doing and for a time it worked. I also tried talking to Jet about it. Though at the beginning of the conversation I knew already what his reaction would be. He didn’t like me feeling this way and he started blaming himself and he wanted to quit his job the next day. I told him that this is why I didn’t want to tell him my frustrations because I knew he would take it differently. Time and again, he didn’t understand my problem. It was frustrating because my plan was to tell him what I was feeling and why I’m feeling that way and I expected him to say “It’s okay… we’ll get through this…” but he did the opposite. He got mad. I was expecting that he would support me. Take me to his arms and assure me that things won’t change and things would be okay. I guess, he got used to the situation that I’AM the stronger one. That I’AM the one making things okay for both of us. That I don’t show any sign of weakness. But I do get tired too you know. I’m only human. Every now and then, I would like a pat in the back or some assurance. I would like to be the damsel in distress. I would like for him to be my hero who’ll save me once in a while.
But they say “Love is giving without expectations”. “Love is unconditional”. I should say, IT DEPENDS because it TAKES TWO TANGGO. How will a relationship work if only one is working for it. What that’s? You just give and give? Until when? Until you get tired? Until your heart gets tired of it?
Like recently, I don’t know why he kept doing it over and over and over again even though he knows it pisses me off. I’ve told him countless times that I hate it when I send him a message and he wouldn’t text back. A single text that would only take him less than a minute to make. One single text just to let me know and I wouldn’t bother him if he asked me to.
He is so insensitive. Basta naging busy sya. Naging preoccupied with people or something… Wala na. Etsapuwera kana… Hirap ba yung hinihingi ko sa kanya na magtext naman sya kung nasan sya and what he’s doing. I mean, text messaging is the only communication we have. We don’t talk on the phone that much anymore… Like twice or thrice a week nalang and we only see each other once a week. All I’m asking is for him to text me. That’s all! And he is too selfish to even do it. I hate him for that. For making me feel discarded. I don’t know why he does it over and over again even if I asked him and even begged him to stop doing to me.
Why are some men like this? Why do they grow complacent when they learned that you loved them too much? Bakit ganun? It’s so unfair that he could do this to me even if I asked him to stop it. Tapos if I’m the one doing something he doesn’t like, he expects me to not do it again – ever again because if I do it again it would make him mad... really mad.
Bakit ganun? Because of my anger kanina, I don’t want to see him this coming Thursday (the thought of seeing him doesn't excite me). I don’t want to talk to him. I want him to learn his lesson. I want to make him feel how it is like to be ignored.
I don’t even feel him in this relationship anymore. I’m tired and I’m lonely. Imagine baliktad mundo namin. When I’m awake he is asleep naman and when I’m asleep he’s at work, I’m free on weekends and he is not. Anong gagawin ko pag weekend? Tutunganga sa bahay? I want to go out but I don’t have anybody to go out with. When we see each other naman every Thursday half of it I’m stressed out because it is also our pay day in the office, by the time I’m done with my work I’m not myself anymore when I face him… tapos ako pa ang magiisip kung anong gagawin namin for that day. When I ask him naman what he wants to do he would only say “I don’t know. Up to you.” I mean! Come on! Give me a fucking break! Take the saddle once in a while! Be in control! Help me make this work!!!! Help me!!!
I’m mad. I’m angry and I’m frustrated with this relationship! I don’t know until when… I do love him. I really do but I’m getting really tired.
I wish he would do is part. I wish he would listen to me without being angry…
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Yes! I'm Still Alive!
It’s been one hell of a week for me. Hell!!! As in hell talaga!
I was hoping that Monday would be better, but I was wrong. It was a lot worse and it was only the beginning. I woke up with a massive headache. It was like my eyes where going to pop out from their sockets and my jaw felt like their going to drop every time I open them. Advil became my new bestfriend. I was popping them every 4 hours. It was crazy. Until Ate Lita asked Tita Ampy to call Dr. Adarna for a home service. I couldn’t walk or talk that much… All I wanted was sleep and hope that by the time I wake up it would all just be a bad dream. But the pain made it all real. Really real and unforgettable.
Dr. Adarna gave me two more medicines to take care of the side effects of mumps kasi I’m too old na daw to have them and the last thing we wanted to happen was for side effects to occur. He even asked me if I were pregnant. Masama daw sa buntis could result daw for the baby to develop a hole in its heart. Kaya ako naman kahit dinedesmenoriya na, eh nagpabili kagad ng EPT, just in case lang naman. But even before the single line appeared, I knew I wasn’t pregnant. He also told me to go easy with Advil. Every six hours lang ang take and that’s for three days only… Huwwaaatt!!!??? Nalokah ako! Huhuhu!!! Hindi ko ata kaya yun. Naging dependent na daw ba! Hahaha!
I was a walking zombie for five days. I wasn’t eating well… Heck! I was just eating so I could take my medicine but parusa talaga! Parusa na ngumuya at kumain. Pero hindi pwede. I didn’t cry though. I was frustrated and mainitin ang ulo. Maski si Jet napaginitan ko maski walang sense. And speaking of Jet, Thursday is our day. He was frustrated too na hindi kami magkikita ng Thursday kasi daw he got used to seeing me every week, ano daw ba gagawin nya that day. I told him nalang to clean his room or do his laundry or anything just to keep his mind off me. So ako naman, wala akong magagawa. Dahil ayoko namang ipilit na magkita kami because I’m afraid naman for him at baka mahawa sya.
So Thursday came, I received a call from him before 7am. Sabi nya he was on his way home dahil hinatid daw nya brother nya. Ako naman, dahil inaantok pa, ok sige… And I went back to sleep. Aba! After 15minutes eto na! He came barging into my room! I was surprised! Hahaha! I mean grabe! Hindi ko talaga ineexpect na he would do that. Risk his health just to see me. He brought me flowers and mangoes. Really sweet of him. Well except for the part when he saw me… Napaatras talaga sya at ngumiwi ang mukha nya. Hahaha! I should have taken a picture of him when he saw me. Priceless talaga! Ayaw na pumasok sa room ko. Natakot ata! Hahaha! Kamukha ko daw yung villain sa Spawn. Yung clown daw… Ako naman, I’m thinking, I look like Shrek.

After his visit medyo okay okay na ako. Come Friday, my mumps gone na talaga. But Friday night, I found myself with fever. I was burning up again with a 38.9 temperature. I was using two blankets and still I was feeling cold. I was taking Biogesic every 4 hours and yet hindi ako pinagpapawisan. Nakukulam na ata ako ah. Saturday morning… (today) I was little bit hopeful na mawala na talaga. By lunch time pinagpawisan na ako and my fever was gone. My appetite is not that okay yet. Every time I eat something parang gusto ko syang isuka. It’s like I’m looking for a certain taste or type of food but I don’t know what it is.
By far this is the only experience na talagang sinusumpa ko. I don’t want to go through it anymore. If you have a chance, get yourself a vaccine and your children too. Grabe ang paghihirap talaga. Even my sister was surprised. She told me I already had my vaccine against it and I already had them before.
That’s life. By Monday I know everything will be okay. Start of a new week for me.
~~~~
Hope to see Jet on Thursday!
Can’t wait to go shopping for Ate Cindy. Can’t wait to make lakwatsa again!!! Wwwhaaa!!! I need to see a mall!!! Hehehe!
~~~~
I took pictures of me since day one till day six to see the development. It was scary. My face got big talaga. Not going to post them here! Hehehe!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
I’m sick.
Sunday morning… I woke up with this… (Yup! That’s me with a double cheek! Meron bang ganon?! Kalokah! I have a pear shape face… Whaaaa!!! Ang laki-laki na nga ng face ko tapos lalo panglumaki! HUHUHU!!!)
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Although my fever was already gone (this morning) because I was drinking Biogesic every four hours, I woke up with this really really swollen jaw. Ate Lita (one of our angels) said I might have mumps. MUMPS!!!! That’s impossible! I already had them when I was in Grade 4 and what I know about it, once you had it, you won’t catch it again. GAWD!!! I’m close to 30 and yet I have this “childhood illness”. WTF!
The uncomfortable part is chewing food. I’m so hungry and yet I couldn’t eat well. It’s like your jaw is breaking apart and anytime it would just drop and it throbs a lot. Isusumpa mo ang pagnguya!
There’s no cure for Mumps. You just take paracetamol and painkillers and take a lot of rest. I'm also using my relaxing eye mask to cool my throbing jaw, o diba! Imbis na sa mata eh napunta sa panga! For more info about mumps just read this site.
I don’t know why I had it again. But I know where I got it, I didn’t think I would catch it though because as what I’ve said before, I had them when I was a kid. Having it now means I won’t be seeing Jet this week and I feel so bad. Once a week na nga lang kami magkita tapos this week hindi pa. Hay… What a fucking life. Malolokah ata ako! But I don’t want him to catch it too although he’s been exposed to me three days before the symptoms started appearing. Nonetheless, just to be safe. Let’s see kung hindi ako matiis ni Jet at sumugod dito sa Q.C. yun… Hehehe!!!
Anyways… Bedrest… I hope tomorrow’s a good day…. Hope I could eat na…
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Visiting Enzo
Jai came directly from work (call center) while Tet and I…. straight from bed.
Jai was the first one to arrive at Starbucks, 30 minutes later I came and an hour later Tet followed. We went to Red Ribbon and bought Kim her first Mother’s Day cake. Then off we go to Pansol, Balara at around 10am.
Enzo was sleeping when we arrived. So kwentuhan nalang and we looked at their old pictures. One album contained all our barkada pics. Some pictures taken from my birthday, I think 4 or 5 years ago. And I was surprised she has them and may picture pa na kasama ko ex ko! Everybody had a good time making fun of me… All I could say was “Tapos na yan!!!” “Tanggalin na!!!” Hahaha!!! Of course I was joking.
that was one humid afternoon... mukha nakong dugyot... hehehe!
Then we had lunch. By 2:30pm Rency bought half a case of beer. Biruin mo naman, hapon na hapon we were drinking… Ang init! Sobra! Hehehe! Pero ang saya naman…
By bottle number three I was sleepy. That’s the effect if I drink at sobrang init ng panahon. Inaantok ako. I didn’t get drunk though. I was sweating so much pano ako malalasing nun! Hehehe! I was just worried about Jai. She’s been awake for 24hours already. Plus there’s beer pa… Makes you want to sleep nalang… But she said she’s enjoying and carry pa daw nya…
Every now and then Enzo would wake up and Kim would bring him to us. But I was too scared to touch or even carry him. He’s so small kasi. Parang he’s so fragile. Plus! He’s only 1 week old. Maybe in a few months I could carry him na. But for now, I’m just content with taking pictures of him.
Kim’s family made us feel so welcomed. Daming food pa… Wala kaming ginawa dun kundi ang kumain ng kumain. Dami rin pulutan. By 5:30 Tet needs to be in Pateros. So it was only Me and Jai. More kwentuhan and beer for Rency and Jai. Hindi namin namalayan it’s almost 7:30pm. But we didn’t go home yet, magdinner daw muna kami. Whaaa!!!! I couldn’t eat anymore… My stomach was so full already but then Ate Marv cooked chilly wings! I couldn’t pass that up… besides they didn’t let us.
After dinner, Ate Marv, Ate Tzel and Rency brought me and jai home. It was almost 9:30pm… Almost 12 hours. Hehehe…
It was a fun day. First time to hang out at Kim’s place really. Yup… Naisip ko nga… We’ve been friends since highschool but it was only now that we got to hang out at her place. It’s been always my house…
Hope to see them soon…
~~~~
Oh well… That was my weekend…
Sunday…
Mother’s Day…
I just stayed at home.. Had some food delivered for the occasion. It was only Me, Nanay and the angels. Quite sad but then... that’s life – as usual. Got to talk to Ate Cindy though. Downloaded a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Will watch them soon.
Come night I went to Cubao to pay for some stuff I ordered from the net and to spend time by myself… I miss Jet. I’m missing him so much. Sadness…
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My Nanay
Friday, May 04, 2007
Enzo
Went to PCMC with Tet earlier. It is also where our friend Ariesyl gave birth to her first born.
~~~~
Kim and Renzy have been married for seven years already and they've been through a lot of trials while trying to have a baby. Finally! After a looong wait, here he is!
A gift from God. In His right time…

Lorenzo Melquiades Sambilay Peralta
May 4, 2007 / 1:27 AM / 6.+ lbs.



I'm so happy for them.
Congratulations Kim and Renzy for a very healthy and cute baby boy!
Welcome Enzo! You just don't know how much you are wanted and loved even before you were born...
We love you!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Movies
We'll see a different Adam here... so different from his usual movies. Just like Spanglish... (love that movie too!)
Reign Over Me
And the usual Adam Sandler film. Funny... and cute... :)
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Friday, April 20, 2007
Jet's Birthday
We didn't have anything planned.
But his father did.
Actually, I had one but due to unavoidable circumstances and WRONG TIMING EVER! I had to scratch it and just greeted him. Plain and simple. Perhaps next week everything will be clear… Not to late to give him my present… Hahaha!!!
My real gift though was given a week early - a couple of shirts from TOP40 are all he asked from me. No surprises he said, no expensive gifts this time. Just shirts that made me.. well us... travel from Quezon City to SM South (?)… At first I told him I’ll just give him the money and let him buy the shirts because I was thinking he lives within the area so he could go there anytime (so heartless of me) and I didn’t really want to go there that time, nalalayuan ako… but he insisted that I should go with him. So I did! Nagshopping narin ako. Ang loko! Dalhin ba ako sa Mall Hehehe!!! What should a girl do when she’s in a mall? Eh di magshopping! Hahaha! Magtiis sya.
So anyway, last night Jet and I went to Bangkal, Makati. His grandmother prepared something for him. Everybody was there. Tito Ramon, Nanay Magda and Tatay Ado, Fritz, Shang, Ana (tito ramon’s sister), her husband Noli and their baby Miguel. I was so nervous… Ewan ko ba, although I’ve been there a couple of times already and have met his grandparents, I still feel so anxious.
The pansit was great and the barbecue I loved. Plus the menudo that I didn’t recognized but also loved.
Tita Dolly (Jet’s mother) and Fatima (his sister) called from New Jersey and talked to all of us.
It was a nice dinner. Nakakatawa. Especially when Nanay Magda cried after talking to Fatima and when Jet saw her crying and asked her why she’s crying… Her answer made all of us laugh… “Masarap kasi yung pansit e!” Umiiyak yan ha at the same time ngumunguya ng pansit… Hahaha! She’s a funny old lady. Funny funny funny…
Miguel was so cute… Ang puti puti! He likes to make these sounds as if he’s talking to you and he smiles a lot… Nakakatunaw talaga ng puso ang mga baby na ngumingiti sayo… They have this effect na parang kahit may dinadala kang problema o sama ng loob o galit tapos once ngumiti sila… nagiging okay na. Ewan…
Anyway, we had out kodakan moment…
Nanay Magda - busy sa pagaayos ng mga pabaon...
Baby Miguel - already asleep, too bad I wasn't able to take his picture while he was awake.
Noli and Tatay Ado
Fritz, Me with my baons and Anna
Kulit ni Jetong eh... Sabi ko ayaw ko magpapicture eh... Me, with my freddy krueger (yan ang tawag ni Jet eh) favorite blouse... Hehehe!
Shang with Tito Ramon
Take 1
Take 2 - Sabi Tito Ramon kelangan sarado ang polo dahil mukha daw syang manginginom... Hehehe! Kaso naka ngiwi naman si Jetong.
Take 3 - Ayan! Ok na!
The birthday boy with his Papa. Mukha daw syang bafing dito... Nakakatakot na bafing if ever!
After dinner Jet and I had our usual tea before going home. Then we watched 10 Items Or Less by Morgan Freeman… By 1:30am He went home na.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Goodbyes...
I hate going to the airport and dropping someone in the departure area (may it be for a short trip or otherwise).
I hate that…
I’m not good at it but I pretend to put up a brave face when I’m forced… Wait! Forced is a negative word let me rephrase that… when I “must” go there.
The last time I was there was when my Ate Cindy and her family left for Canada. That’s almost three years ago. Before that, I don’t remember anymore. I’m telling you, the scene that took place before they went through the immigration was not nice. I was crying all over the place. My Ate and I were hugging each other and crying our heads out as my two nephews looked on with traumatized expressions… Hahaha! Nico, the eldest, was in the verge of crying too while Victor was asking his Daddy why we were acting that way… I could still remember all the habilins my Ate gave me and all the assurance… Oh well… those were the times of uncertainties… Mind you! I didn’t care if a lot of people were staring at us. Hehehe!
ENOUGH! That is not the reason why I’m blogging about goodbyes…
Last night at around 11pm Jet fetched me here at home to go to his house. His sister, Fatima was leaving for the States and I wanted to see her before she leaves. Although we are not that close, I still feel she is a part of my family (if God permits it). It is also my way of showing her my support and love. So at around 12midnight we arrived at their place and just hanged out. Waited until she’s done with her last minute packing, checking and habilins. By 3AM, two vans packed (our van contained Me, Jet, Fatima and two of her female friends and the other van being driven by Fritz has Shang, Tata, France and two of Fatima’s male friends), we slowly headed for NAIA. Her flight was at 7am so three hours before the said flight she must be inside already.
Jet was tensed the whole time. I couldn’t even make him smile. I don’t blame him. I know what he’s going through… Parang lahat ay naka fast forward… Million things going through your mind. Emotions going up and down. You wanted to cry but you can’t. Well… not yet.
When we got there, all of us (except Fritz and France who parked the vans) went to this designated area where in passengers could still spend a little more time with their family before going inside. Nerve wracking! Is all I could say. Jet was smoking the whole time and trying to distance himself from our pack. Shang was silent too. Fatima was with her friends making little conversations. I on the other hand, was smiling. Smiling. Why in the hell was I smiling when people around me were silent and lost in their own thoughts trying not to cry? Because I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to start crying and I could feel tears starting to form but I didn’t want them to see me cry for god sake! Then Fritz arrived with Franz and Tata. Picture time… The four siblings are complete for the last time. I wanted to take more pictures but then after a few moments of laughter and biruan… naging serious nanaman silang apat. When Fatima started hugging her friends it signaled that its time for her to go inside. She then turned to Shang and embraced him, then Fritz, then Jet… All the while Franz and Tata were making comments about crying is like a infectious disease and how Franz is already used to seeing people leave all his life. I was laughing with them and every now and then I would look away. Then suddenly Fatima, Shang, Fritz and Jet hugged each other and they were crying. God! That was the moment! The moment that I really wanted to cry. Even Franz and Tata was surprised by it and was silent until Franz broke the ice and asked “Sinong may yosi? Penge yosi naman oh!”…

After seeing Fatima off, Jet and I together with Shang went to Quezon City. Time for me to go home. But before that we had breakfast at this Pares Pares that Jet and I loved. We let Shang have his first taste of Pares Pares the Q.C. way… By 5:30am I was finally home.
~~~~
Now that things are a little bit different in their house, I know they’ll be okay.
I know goodbye is sometimes a good thing because it let you show how much you love the person you’re saying goodbye to and sometimes it sucks because you won’t be seeing that person for a very very long time. Either way for me, I still hate saying goodbye… I would rather fetch them from the airport even if his or her flight gets delayed… I’ll be there the whole day. Hehehe!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday
I asked a few more friends if they want to come along. Jai was the only one available. She has a few hours to spare before going to work.
The ride from Quezon City to Makati was pretty fast. It took us more or less 30 minutes to get there. Maybe because it was a holiday and a lot of people are still on their way back to Manila from a very long vacation and of course work is out – for most of the establishments there.
When we arrived in Greenbelt 3, surprisingly walang tao masyado. Went straight to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to wait for Mariel. Dun ang maraming tao. It took me a while to get our orders. 10 years in the making! Hehehe!
When Mariel arrived we did nothing but talked and talked about our relationships (bad and good), stuff and people watch and after a while nagutom ako and asked them kung gusto nila magearly dinner bacause Jai had to leave by 8pm. I told Mariel let's try something new na wala sa Cubao... Hehehe!
We ate at Mr. Rockefeller (by Oyster Boy). We tried their Rockefeller Oysters that was amazing. Love it really! More than Mannang’s.

Jai had a Cheeseburger.


We should do that more often. Have dinners or afternoon teas. Looking forward to it!





My Holy week was spent mostly at home. After Holy Thursday (my Bisita Iglesia with Jet) I just stayed at home with Nanay and our Angels. I had nothing to do but watched DVD’s and I cleaned my closet! Hehehe! So many clothes to discard. Old clothes that haven’t been worn yet have been rediscovered. “Meron pala akong ganito?!” you could hear from me amidst all the clothes piled up on my bed and my floor. “Kasya pa!” was the second one. It took me almost two days to get it done.
Now, I’m a happy girl with a clean closet! Hehehe! Babaw ko talaga!
Friday, April 06, 2007
Bisita Iglesia with Jet
Oh well... Here are some pictures:
Miraculous Medal Church, Project 4
St. Joseph Shrine, Anonas
Immaculate Concepcion Church, E. Rodriguez
Mt. Carmel Church, Broadway
The Chapel of the Carmelite Monastery, Gilmore - my favorite church, want to get married here someday... :)
Mary The Queen Parish, San Juan
We went home watched Season One of Miami Ink till 6:00pm.. Met with Jai and had dinner at Que Rico... Er.. Actually she had dinner while Jet and I had a couple of beers... Kwento kwento... After that, Jai went to work while we went home to watch more dvds... Masaya na kami sa pagnood lang... Hehehe!

