Monday mornings...

I know we had the same work days and I know practically his schedule now… Hehehe!!! But what surprises me is that I see him much often now even though he should be on the floor but he’ll be in the pantry when it’s my lunch and I would find him in Hacienda when we’re about to go home. Crazy coincidence….

I don’t want to assume things because mahirap umasa diba? Hirap madisappoint… But I love seeing him around though… Hehehe… And trying to figure out what the heck is it tattooed on his neck! My friends can’t read it either… All the more curious I am…

I didn’t see him last Saturday and all my teammates were looking for him too… I learned from TL Jei-Ar that he came to work late - around 11am and I was home by then… Oh well… I’ll see him on later hopefully…

But then, Michigan people will have a different bay na… Huhuhu!!!

~~~~

Saturday night was Dhezie’s birthday dinner. Went there a little bit late because I woke up late and had a little bit of stomach ache too. Ako pa daw yung malapit lang ang house tapos ako pa daw ang late.. Hehehe!!! I was supposed to be there around 7am kaso I woke up at 7:30pm took time to get ready and finally when I’m all dressed up sumakit naman ang tiyan ko… Finally at 9:30pm I was bound to her place which is only a 5minute ride from my place… I arrived finding Ron and her husband already there, Kim and her girlfriend Joey, Benny and his boyfriend Jovan and Dhezie’s friends Joseph and Anthony… Nagiinuman na sila.. I brought with me some of the left over alcohol from our team building – 2 grand matador 1 liter each – which was consumed in less than an hour I think… Hay! Then Ruby came, Madam and TL Jei-Ar… Kwentuhan and more alcohol was bought.

Then TL and I got to talk about the guy I like. That’s when he told me he was late earlier kaya di ko sya nakita. Jei-Ar and another TL- JM calls him “angas factor” daw… Hindi daw sya ganun ka guapo… which I find true… hindi sya ganun ka guapo, pero may dating! Hehehe! May angas! We agreed that he speaks English really good and sounds even better… Some of my friends ang biruan namin tungkol sa kanya is that “parang di ka daw bubuhayin sa kama!” Hahaha!!! Syeet! He’s not that tall, pero maputi at malinis tingnan… I find him really nice to look at… Everytime na naiisip kong napapagod nako mag take ng calls, all I have to do is think about seeing him at 6:00am in the morning and all will be worth it na… Hahaha!!! Really.. minsan, naiisip ko lang na makikita ko na sya in a few more hours and everything will be well… Nakakalokah…

TL Jei-Ar said he would find a way to speak to him and find out his name… Ha! Para talagang highschool feeling ko.. May crush crush pang nalalaman ang gagah! Oh well.. He is one of the reasons why I love working though aside from having good friends and not having a boring weekend anymore…

Anyways, back to Dhezie’s birthday dinner. Love the kare-kare though… maski unti lang kinain ko dahil masakit parin ang tiyan ko… Got a chance to speak with Anthony and learned that he lives one street away from me lang pala… He was a bit drunk narin Hehehe…. Ang kulit kulit about Baliwag Lechon insisting that we owned the place.. Hahaha!!! Around 4am narin ako nakauwi… Didn’t drink that much though…

Sunday… woke up at around 8:30am… Spent the whole day with my Edward… Ang kulit kulit.. haba narin ng hair nya… Walang ginawa kundi mangulit at mangagat… Hay! Watched TV and DVD the whole day.. By 5:30pm I was asleep already and now… Woke up at 2:30am.. Nothing to do.. Hahaha!!! Edward’s gone… back to his cage.. Didn’t realized that Jenelyn took him na…

Hmmm… Need to go St Joseph later.. was not able to go last night… Hay….

Hahaha!!!

What is it like working in a call center? Well it is something that I didn’t expect that I would like and that I would enjoy. Honestly at first I was having a hard time adjusting with the work hours, especially when we got pulled out from our original account and was trained for five days – only! and was transferred to a different market and got a new schedule. It was one hell of transition. But in the end it was worth it… Why? Because I got to notice someone I would like on the floor... Hahaha!!! Actually it is not my priority at all. I discovered him by accident. I just used to see him every now and then but I was so occupied with my own work that I would think of him in passing. But right after our training, and we learned how petiks the new market was – at first, we had nothing to do at times, I found myself staring at him every chance I get. Hahaha! Parang highschool! Our bay was just next to theirs and I wouldn’t have a hard time finding him. Then, one day, during our petiks moment my friend, Dhez and I got to talk about him and Dhez started teasing me about him and when he passed by my station because at that time I was by the aisle. God! I was so embarrassed! I knew he heard Dhez because he looked at me. Para talagang highschool!!! Hahaha! Now, I don’t know if it’s by chance or whatever because I don’t want to give any meaning to it, he would seat where I’m facing. Shit talaga! Just like today, there are times that I would catch him staring at me and he would catch me staring at him and there was an instant that I was hiding behind my monitor and he would stand up, pretend to do something or whatever and I would catch him staring at me. Haaay! Ano ba un?! Hahaha!!! I’m not in love okay… I just like looking at him. At seven in the morning, he is someone I look forward to seeing everyday. He’s so yummy to look at… Hahaha!!!

Alex is another story. My teammate, actually I don’t know when it started, maybe during one of our drinking session. It began as a joke. I would tease him and everybody would tease us. Then during Jev’s birthday (Dhez’s husband), Alex and I became boyfriend and girlfriend for the night! Hahaha! Because RJ was teasing us and wouldn’t stop, until Alex told him yes we are an item and we held hands all night. But it was only because RJ wouldn’t stop and because of the alcohol.. Hahaha!!!! After the party, the whole team learned about that joke time we had and begun teasing us and Alex and I would pretend to be bf and gf on the floor.. Hahaha! It’s funny because he is not my type at all and I just find him very mabait and so serious with work. (We got to share our life story during one of the weekends we were forced to go to work and there was no call at that time.)

During our team building, we had this “honoring time” where in we talk about each other and saying only the positive things… When it was my turn and Alex was about to say something about me… the whole team erupted with laughter and kept teasing us. They called us Mommy and Daddy because we were the ones involved in the kitchen, while Alex was cooking our dinner, I was preparing our table. Hahaha! It was so fun… I kept asking Alex if he’s getting pikon na… And he would say no naman… Its all for fun though… Until now.. we would tease each other na kami na nga… and I would ask him “why sinagot mo na ba ako?” in which he would gladly say “matagal na kaya!” and the team would tease us endless… Dhez is the culprit though… She is pushing me towards Alex… Hahaha!!! Not yet Dhez.. I’m not ready for another relationship again… I want to enjoy every moment muna of being single.

I remember what one of my highschool buddy told me… “dyan nagsisimula yan.. sa tukso-tukso, one thing you know, kayo na pala….” Hahaha!!! Maybe, maybe not...

We’ll see…. Hahaha!!!

Is it really possible to be completely healed from a broken heart after just a few months?

In truth, yes it is possible because I have learned to forgive him and that is why now I can say that I have finally move on with my life. No more hoping and wishing for him to come back or to love me again. No more self pity no more this and that… No more regrets… Just a time to start loving myself and moving forward…

I never knew how wonderful it is to feel so free and liberated from all the angst of the past. I just woke up one day and felt no more loneliness or sadness of missing him or the bitterness of learning he found someone else. At first I felt betrayed, who wouldn’t be? But then again, it was a very slow process of healing and recovery and in the end I did survive it. What I learned from that experience, is that he was not the end of my life but the beginning of a new me and a new adventure.

It was a good start for the year 2010. Work is okay and I’m getting used to it now. The people I work with are great. We continue to know each other better and bond like a real family. Weekends now are spent either drinking session with them or just at home relaxing. Don’t have to worry about anything or anyone else but myself, my doggies and the people around me. I now have all the time in my life to do whatever I want and need. I never knew it could be this way, I thought a single person’s life is boring. Well, now I know why some people choose to be single. But of course I’m not closing my door to know someone someday and have a true partner in life not just a lover but somebody who would really go through life with me.

But for now, I’m pretty much content with what’s happening with my life. I couldn’t ask for more…

“Life is pretty simple…

If you ask for apples and you get lemons, make lemonade.

If you are on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you don’t have to water the plants.

It’s a matter of seeing things in perspective. The benefits may not be immediate or obvious,

but we have to know that there are problems and struggles.

Have faith. Enjoy life. Take it easy.

If today you’re picking the grapes, tomorrow you’ll be drinking the wine.”

You've Made Me Stronger

Is it hard to believe I'm okay
After all, it's been a while since you walked away
I'm way past crying over you finding someone new
You turned my days into night
But now I see the light
And this may be a big surprise to you

But you've made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You've taught me everything from fallin' in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you've made me stronger,
By saying goodbye
If you'd rather believe I'm not over you
Go ahead - there's nothing wrong with making believe
I know 'cause I used to pretend you'd come back to me
But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thank for setting me free

Think again
Don't feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don't you know
I'm not the one at the losing end

YOU MADE STRONGER BY SAYING GOODBYE...

(500) Days of Summer

"Look, i know you think that he was the one, but i don't.
Now, I think you're just remembering the good stuff.
Next time you look back,
I really think that you should look again..."

~nice movie... love it.. :)

On My Own

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah

It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lines
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it

Oh I start again go back to one
I'm running things in my way
Can't stop me now, I've just begun
Don't even think about it
There ain't no way about it
I'm taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone

I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
It's time for me to do it
See I'm not afraid

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect,

whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing.

There is no beginning and no end,

only a constant cycling and recycling

of substance and experiences.

Life is never stuck or static or stale,

for each moment is ever new and fresh.

I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power

has given me the power to create my own circumstances.

I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power

of my own mind to use in any way I choose.

Every moment of life is a new beginning point

as we move from the old. This moment is a new point

of beginning for me right here and right now.

All is well in my world.

We are each responsible for all of our experiences.

Every thought we think is creating our future.

The point of power is always in the present moment.

Everyone suffers from self-hatred and guilt.

The bottom line for everyone is,

“I’m not good enough.”

It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.

Resentment, criticism, and guilt

are the most damaging patterns.

Releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer.

When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.

We must release the past and forgive everyone.

We must be willing to begin to learn to love ourselves.

Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now

are the keys to positive changes.

We create every so-called “illness” in our body.

Free At Last

I don’t know how to describe how I feel right now.

All I know is that I’ve never been this happy since the break-up three months ago. Should I say that I’ve already moved on? Or have let go of everything?

I believe so.

On the eve of my birthday he called me. Asking how I was, my dogs, even asking about my schedule. I was so surprised he called and I didn’t even recognize his voice (he was using a different number). He didn’t greet me though but he cried and said he was sorry for everything and congratulated me because I finally found work. Ok, I could accept the congratulatory greeting but not his apologies. Not yet. Maybe someday at the right time.

Before he called me, I was doing a little bit okay. There were times I would think of what happened. I would miss him and there would be the pain of missing him. After the call, I was left even more confused. Why would he call all of the sudden? When after breaking up with me, he wouldn’t even take my calls and wouldn’t answer my text messages. Why now when I thought I was doing okay and I thought I have moved on. Why?

I knew I had to find the answer to my question. I knew I had to end my suffering once and for all. I had to do something. Or else I would go insane and lose my job in the process.

I had an instinct. And I wanted to confirm it.

Two things came to my mind why this effing guy would call me. One, he’s guilty and he can’t moved on with his new life – new girlfriend and somehow saying sorry to me would heal all the pain he gave me (really?! Just like that?!) – Maybe that’s what he’s thinking… Two, he’s guilty and wants a second chance. Well… I chose the first one.

I sent a message to his sister. Confirmed what I know and got my answer. He has a girlfriend already.

That answered my question. My first choice was right. Bulls’ eye!

I felt relieved. I felt liberated. Suddenly I could breathe again! It felt like a heavy load was lifted from my chest and I could smell the air and feel the sun in my skin. I felt FREE.

Somehow, knowing the truth, made me accept the reason why he broke-up with me. It made accepting easier and letting go much easier. If only he was honest from the start. But as what Mariel said, it is hard to be honest because we know it would hurt. But nonetheless, it could have been better for both us if he was.

November 6th, three months after the break-up, for the first time, I had a smile on my face that day. Truly a sign that I’m over with the pain, with the holding on and thinking that one day he would come back to me. I was done. I was over it.

At least I know, I didn’t do anything wrong to him or to our relationship. It was not me who broke someone’s heart. And I could sleep at night without guilt in my soul.

Now, I will go to work with a new hope, new agenda, and a plan. A plan for my future. I look forward to each new day.

Before, I always say to myself that I could never love again. But after finding the truth and reading Re-Birth (and watching Notting Hill), I want to fall in love again. I want to love and be loved. I want to find that guy that would love me the way I am and accept me for who I am and really really take care of me not the other way around. And I’m excited for that. I’m excited to give my love to that someone who really deserves it.

I’m just happy that it’s over.

I’m happy and at peace with myself.

RE-BIRTH

"It isn't that we dare because things are difficult;
it is that we don't dare that they are difficult."

I lost a childhood toy... but have the memory of the person who gave me the gift with unconditional love.

I lost the privileges and fantasies of childhood... but had the opportunity of growing and living free.

I lost a lot of people whom I loved and still love... but had the affection and now have model from their lives.

I lost memories of life because I cried instead of smiling... but I discover that, it is from planting love that love is harvested.

I lost many things many times in my life. But in that "loss", today I aspire for the value of "gain"; ...because it is always possible to fight for that which we love; and because there is always time to start all over again.

It is not important the time of life when you tired. Important is that it is always possible and necessary to restart. Re-birthing is a new opportunity; it is renewing the hopes in life; and more importantly, it is believing in oneself.

Did you suffer greatly sometime?
... that was a time for learning.

Did you cry a lot?
... you were cleansing your soul.

Did you feel spiteful?
... it was a lesson on forgiveness.

At times, were you alone?
... it was because you closed your doors.

Were there times you believed everything was lost?
... it was simply the beginning of your improvement.

Did you feel lonely? Look around you and you will see people waiting for your smile, just to get closer to you.

RE-BIRTH

Today is an excellent day to start a new life project. Where do you want to go? Look higher, dream higher, desire the best, life brings us what we aspire.

If we think small; the small will come. If we think firmly on the best, on the positive and we strive for it; the best will come in our lives.

TODAY IS THE GREAT MENTAL CLEANSING DAY. THROW AWAY ALL THAT BINDS YOU TO THE PAST; ALL THAT HURTS YOU. DISCARD EVERYTHING INTO GARBAGE; CLEAN YOUR HEART; PREPARE IT FOR A NEW LIFE, AND FOR NEW LOVE, FOR WE ARE PASSIONATE. WE ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING MANY TIMES, BECAUSE WE ARE THE MANIFESTATION OF LOVE.

LIFE CALLS YOU; IT INVITES YOU TO A NEW ADVENTURE, A NEW JOURNEY, A NEW CHALLENGE. THIS DAY, PROMISE YOURSELF; THAT YOU WILL DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE YOUR OBJECTIVES; TRUST IN LIFE, TRUST IN YOURSELF....

Breakup Recovery 101: Five Rules You Must Follow!

Whether or not you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt. And they can be really hard to get over. If you listen to the wise words of Charlotte on Sex and The City , it takes half the time you were together to get over him. Here are a few more wise words to help make your next breakup a little easier.

Don't Talk to Him

The most crucial rule in breaking up is to not talk to the person you're breaking up with. Even if you think you can handle it and still get over the person, you can't. Don't kid yourself; feelings will get hurt. Take some time off, get over him, and maybe someday in the future you'll be friends. Until then, lick your wounds and recover any way you'd like; whether that be partying hard, staying in bed for days with pints of ice cream, or spending absurd amounts of money on clothes you don't need. No one will say a thing; we all heal in our own, weird ways.

>>My healing started when I found a job. It kept me busy, too busy and too tired to even think about him anymore. Although there are times that I miss him but the pain is not that intense anymore. I knew I was on my way to recovery.


Snap Out of It

Remember how things, like stupid songs and movies and that little spot in the park that you two went to on your first date used to be "yours"? Well, they're not anymore. Don't make a connection to platonic objects when there isn't one. Remind yourself that you like that spot in the park because of the good view, not because of anyone connected to it. There's no point losing more than you have to from a breakup, so don't get all sappy on yourself

>>Continue living your life... I know it's so hard but that's what I'm doing now.


Reconnect with Your Friends

No matter how much you say you're not going to be that girl who gives up her friends for her boyfriend; everyone gives up a little of their time to spend with their guy. Well, now is the time to make it up to them (and, you could use the girl talk). So, go out and have fun; grab your best wing woman, and remember how much fun being single really is.

>>When my friends learned about it, they all came to my rescue. Took me under their wings and let me cry my eyes out until I couldn't cry anymore. Made time from their busy schedule just to meet up with me and be with me when I felt sad or lonely. But I knew that there will come a time that I have to be alone and face the pain.


Take Some Time For Yourself

Amidst all of this trying not to talk to him, hanging out with friends, partying more and/or eating lots and lots of ice cream-you need to remember to sit back and actually work through your feelings. Understand why things went south, and why you're better off this way. And in no time you'll be back to your old self, and what's-his-name will be a thing of the past.

>>As what I've previously said, continue living your life. I still go to places where we used to frequently go because I enjoy going or hanging out there. It is my me time. My time to relax and unwind.


It's All About Rewards

And finally, do all of the little things that make you happy every day. Yep, being single means thinking about you, you, you. So, go and take that extra time after work and buy yourself that little ring you've been obsessing over. Or take a long walk and meet a friend for cupcakes because well, you can. Have fun spoiling yourself, because you deserve it after....wait, what? I'm forgetting already.

>>Thinking about my past relationships, I never really had anything longer than a month in between them. I guess I was eager enough to forget the ex that I jump into one relationship to another. Which I think now, was wrong. It didn't really gave me enough time to reflect why or what happened and didn't gave me enough time for myself. Right now, I just want to enjoy everything as a single girl. And now that I got a new job, I want to make plans for MY future and honestly speaking I already have a one-year plan and I'm all excited about it. All about myself.

Vacation Mode

Just a few more hours and I'm off to Coron, Palawan with Tet for a four day vacation... Yeepee!!!!!

See you soon blog! :p

What now?

Birth

When you open the book here, it signals new beginnings. Birth can be taken literally. Perhaps there is a baby on the way now, or very soon. Perhaps one has just been born. This is about fertility. The time is ripe for new life and new hope.

It can also signify the beginning of a new phase in your relationship, or even a new relationship. If you are hoping to fall in love you can afford to feel very optimistic. Something is gestating and in the near future it will manifest in your life and show itself. Right now you need to make sure that you keep your focus on your dreams and make the most of this period of potential. This is the time to encourage your creativity, to dust off those half-finished projects or start something new. You must admit to yourself what a new beginning would mean to you and then go after it. If you stay true to yourself, anything can be accomplished.

Birth provides you or your relationship with the opportunity of rebirth. You can start again in a new way. A fresh slate is being offered if you are willing to take it. But remember that infancy is the outcome of birth. It's a period of vulnerability and there is a strong need for nurturing and protection. You can't launch a new beginning and then neglect it and hope that all will turn out well. This is a time for focus and gentleness. Get support from those around you; new births don't flourish in solitude. Gather your clan around you and rejoice.

Safety

When you open this book here, know that safety is an essential quality for success in love and relationships. Its importance is rarely adequately recognized and as an issue it is frequently misunderstood. The term "safety" means "the freedom from threat of danger or injury" and it includes both your physical and your emotional well-being. You need to stop and review how safe you are feeling at the moment and also the reality of how safe you actually are.

Look at the obvious issues. Ask yourself some very basic questions. Are you physically safe in your relationship? Is there violence or the threat of violence in your love life? Think carefully when you answer this question. Has violence been escalating in your life recently? Are there doors slammed, glasses broken or any other acts like this which you are trivializing or dismissing? Take these issues seriously, because otherwise they'll only get worse.

If you are looking for a new relationship or have just met someone new this card cautions you to look after yourself properly. Meet in public places and go slowly until you really know that you can trust this person. If they are safe they will respect your caution.

Next, look at your emotional safety. How do you feel in relationships? Do you trust that you can open up and show your true self or are you careful and cautious, always trying to get it right so that you don't leave yourself vulnerable or exposed? In love we ought to feel safe. We deserve to believe that our feelings will be respected. Take this seriously. If something isn't right, it won't go away if you bury your head in the sand.

Or, it may be that you could be safer in your relationship or potential relationship than you realize. Now may be the time to move forward and take the risk of being more open and asking for what you want. Stop and think about what you need to feel safe. You may need to practice this alone before you can share it with another. Find out what it takes to make you feel comfortable. Comfort and safety are intricately linked. When you get better at tuning in to your feelings you'll learn to trust your instincts and you'll know when you are safe and when you're not.

Remember, safety is the foundation stone of LOVE.

(Love Wisdom by Carolyn Temsi & Caro Handley)

Now That You're Gone

Well I can see heaven
See it over the plain
If I start running now
I think I can make it
And never look back again

Your face is all around me
Your keys are in my hand
And everywhere I go
I'll try to remember
Exactly who I am

'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe

We made a bed of roses
But I got pricked by the thorns
And on a long cold night
I still think I'm bleeding
But I wake up untorn

Well I am a missing person
I've lost it all but my name
And, I'm afraid some long lonely road
Will lead me back to you again

Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone

'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything

'Cause nobody's watching me
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe

WTF?

After a break up what do you do?

I sulked.

I sulked. I cried. I sulked. I cried. I sulked.

Then...

After walking around with a heavy heart, yesterday I finally WOKE UP - from whatever rotten pit I was swimming in for almost a month now.

Just one text message triggered it.

Last Sunday... actually around 12:58AM, the he who must not be named (according to Mariel), sent a text message... “I'm so sorry for everything. I'm a bad person.” Ahh.. Hello! You're not a bad person... YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

A JERK...

I replied with a message thinking that, “I think he is okay and I think he is ready to talk yada yada yada.. as in talk”. But he didn't replied. I sent him another message again... because I'm so stupid – “I miss you” stupid really! AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING... I tried calling him and he wouldn't pick up... I got the message... “DON'T CALL HIM DON'T TEXT HIM BUT HE COULD TEXT YOU.”

GOD! What does this effing guy wants from me???

I just don't get it! Why send a effing “sorry” message then don't respond!?!

I really am trying to be nice after all WHAT HE DID to me. I TRIED TO BE NICE. Really. But this effing guy is just pushing it. I just gave in to my anger and told him a piece of my mind. And miraculously... I felt a heavy load was lifted from my chest. I felt.... HAPPY. I felt free. I felt as light as a balloon floating in the sky. I FELT FREE!!!

Mariel was right... I need to feel the anger. The more I hold it back, the more I got depress and couldn't focus on myself. I think the depression I felt was anger I was holding in. Hhmm...

What a realization...

I just wish that men, a effing BOY for that matter, would stick to whatever decision they've made. HAVE THE BALLS to tell to your partner if you want out. AND EFFING GROW UP!!!

Now, on to a much better news...

I'm off to Coron, Palawan next week. For a four day-three night vacation...

A very timely vacation..

New start for me...

Time to unwind and be happy...

A VERY MUCH NEEDED VACATION!!!! Yahooooo!!!!!!

Dreaming with a broken heart

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
He takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can't, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

On Love

The only thing I know I'm guilty of is that, I love too much..

Spreading myself too thin and getting hurt in the end.

~~~~

I thought, if I give my all, he won't leave.

I thought, if I'm always there to support him, he won't leave.

I thought, if I just be myself, he won't leave.

I guess, I was wrong.

~~~~

Lesson learned. Broken heart. Now, I'm taking each day one at a time.

Baby steps. I know I'll be alright. I know it'll pass. I know I'll be able to love again.

Hopefully, this time, it'll be different.

Hopefully, to find someone who truly deserves me. All of me.

Time of Your Life

You say, you've got all you'd ever want
Then how come you're
Demanding everything
A little more from everyone
You're always
Turning all my rights to wrongs
With the bitter words you're whispering
I see we've come undone, well

There's something wrong about it
Your life's too over crowded
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I Guess

I'm wasting your time, baby
If something within you
Can't be satisfied
Then Get up, Get out, Give In, oh if
I'm cramping your style, lately
If something is greener on the other side
THEN GO ON, AND HAVE
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

Shameful, always treated me the same
Twisting every little circumstance
In to your gain
Resentful, gone too far to give a damn
All those things that did belong to me
Keep 'em like you planned, well

There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess

Ain't no reason in me holding you down
So move on baby, and someone else
proud, because...

Chorus
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life

There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess

Monday Blues No More

Woke up today feeling a lot more better than before... I've decided to stop feeling depress and lonely...
Told myself, no more pains.. No more sadness...

TIME TO MOVE ON...

Time to open the window and let the light in... :)

(i'm getting a new haircut today... hehehe....)