Sick again...

Ever since flu season started, I got sick na.

Friday shift, I started sneezing. I knew I was going down with something. True enough, by the end of the shift I was teary eyed and with a runny nose.

By the time I got home I was having a splitting headache and my nose is already clogged. Was not able to get a decent sleep and plus the fact that Love and I was having a slight tampuhan because of me being cold lately over him and he felt I was not taking the relationship seriously and he ignored me for a couple of days. The nerve! Hahaha! Actually, I was. I was a bit cold intentionally. But that's another story.

Anyways, I was not able to report to work for Saturday shift. I was dead tired.

Sunday, Love surprised me by coming over. Maski ang lakas lakas ng ulan, sugod ang gago. He wants to take care of me daw.

Hhmm.. Ano kayang take care iyon??? HAhaha!!! Nagdala ng kung ano-anong food na hindi ko naman malasahan dahil sa barado kong ilong. He ended up eating all the junkfoods, cake and chicken. Did nothing but watched TV and DVD until I fell asleep.

Woke up, tulog na rin ang gago sa tabi ko. Pero syempre.. May konting QT narin! Nabitin ata ako este!! Nabinat ata ako! Hahaha!!!

Hay nako! He can be sweet really, at times. Pero pag dating sa work. Work lang talaga. He's very strict. Palibhasa POC kasi. Madalas mainit ang ulo. Walang love love sa floor. Pero nauutusan ko naman! Hahaha!

Thanks Love for looking after me this weekend. Making an effort to spend time with me and to clear things out. It meant a lot.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Basta steady lang...

Tatay

I dreamt of my dearest Tatay last night. We were celebrating his birthday. A lot of relatives came and from my own family, aside from my Tatay, me and my two older sisters were the only ones there.

Funny thing is, Ate Cindy played the organ while Tatay and I danced and my Ate Jean sung.

In reality, when I was a little girl, whenever Ate Jean plays the organ, Tatay would grab me and spun me around and around. We would dance until I was dizzy. Those were some of my fondest memory of my dear Tatay.

He loves to dance and sing. He would laugh his heart out and enjoy every moment.

I still miss him. I would tell stories of him to my closest friends and would still shed some tears whenever I remember all the happy moments we had.

It's been 11 years now since he died and still it feels like it was only yesterday when he left us.

He's not a perfect father but he tried his best to provide and give us the life he never had when he was young. He's pretty proud of what he's become and what he had achieved and by God, he deserves everything he had accomplished. He may be not the kind of father that would make lambing or would say I love you, but I know he loved us. He gave all he had for our family.

Wherever you are my Tatay, you are always in heart and in my prayers. Thank you for everything.

I LOVE YOU!

I still miss you so much...

...

I used to wish for the same thing - - -
someone to love and who'll love me back.

But today,

I think I'm going to wish for something else - - -
the wisdom and maturity to realize that I won't find
what I want by looking for it...

That I shouldn't expect someone else to give me
what I never gave to myself.

That I'm NOT a half,
waiting to be made whole.

And even if that special person never comes along,
I'll be just fine... :)

...

Live life fully while you're here.
Experience everything.
Take care of yourself and your friends.
Have fun, be crazy, be weird.
Go out and screw up!
You're going to anyway,
so you might as well enjoy the process.

Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes:
find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.

Don't try to be perfect;
just be an EXCELLENT example of being human...

Appointments

Went to my ob-gyne last Friday, had my scheduled Pap-smear. Will get the result by next Saturday. Crossing my fingers everything is all well down there. Hhmm...

The next six days would be something to look forward to. Bring all the pain now! Doc said take it easy with the pain killers, if I can handle it, don't drink anymore. So I'll be a masochist even for a week. Hahaha! Embrace the pain!

Seriously, I hope everything will be okay. I'm having some cramps and back pains. But I know it will be all worth it. Preparing for something special in the near future. But I'm really having second thoughts. Kung pwede naman ipagpaliban pa, why not. It will all depend on the circumstances. Pero as much as possible, ayoko pa sana. I know someone who is so eager to volunteer! Hahaha! Ganun lang ba yun!? At hanggnag dun lang ba yun? Coz' if you're going to ask me, gusto ko hanggang dun lang yun. Kaso it doesn't look like you'll be contented na maging hanggang dun lang yun. No strings attach please. :p

Hay! Decisions decisions decisions!

My back is killing me! I need a rub! Whaaaa!!!!

Love It!

I'm loving the new Template Designer by Blogspot... Inspiring me to post more... Hehehe!!!

...

Still feeling a little bit down. Didn't go to work yesterday and tonight. Need to rest and sleep a little bit longer. Will need a lot of energy to survive this illness. Good thing it is my rest day tomorrow til Monday. Plenty of time to rest.

I miss working. It gets a little bit boring staying here at home almost half of the day doing nothing but sleep. Been to my doctor twice now and still waiting for the results, hope its going to be good news by the end of my medication. And then more test, test and test.

I hate hospitals. I don't want to stay there any longer than having a check-up. But there's nothing I can do.

Buti nalang may nangungulit every now and then... :)

4:00am

H: "u awake?"

S: "yup!"

H: "bakit?"

S: "eh nagtext ka eh! istorbo! joke! I slept almost half of the day na eh... woke up early tuloy"

H: "ano sabi ng doctor, how was ur check-up?"

S: "ayun! more test pa daw. u on break?"

H: "yeah... pasok na ko. miss you! mwah!"

S: "okies... "

H: "love you... "

S: "......"

H: "cge na nga.... basta love you!"

~~~~

6:45pm

H: "Gising kana Love? Musta check-up?"

S: "Yeah... Okay naman. More medications lang then be back for more test."

H: "Are you going to work na tonight?"

S: "Not yet... Total rest daw eh... Be back Tuesday night."

H: "Miss you na..."

S: "Pano mo naman ako namimiss? One day palang tayo di nagkikita..."

H: "Basta, di kita nakikita at nakakasama..."

S: "Cheesy!!! Hahaha!"

H: "Eh di wag! Wag kang maniwala."

S: "Asus! Tampo ang baby ko.... Hehehe!"

H: "Wag nalang nga...."


Hahahaha!!!! :p

Do you two have chemistry?

Sweaty palms? Sort of. A pounding heart? A bit. Even so, you’re still not completely sure there are sparks between you. Understandable: While it’d be nice to think that the earth moves and the angels sing when you’ve found The One, sometimes the signals that you two are truly meant for each other are much more subtle than that. Here are seven dead giveaways that singles often miss — know that if you spot one or more of them on your next date, that’s good news.

Subtle sign #1: You turn into a total klutz

So far, you’ve dropped your fork and knocked over your water glass…and that’s before the entrées have arrived. While embarrassing, these gaffes are actually a good sign. “When you have serious chemistry, your body produces elevated levels of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University. This, in turn, can make you jittery, uncoordinated, and a little accident-prone. And if you’re embarrassed by your klutziness, that’s a good sign too! Because if you don’t care what your date thinks of you, you probably don’t think much of your date.

Subtle sign #2: You notice a tiny dent in your date’s pinkie nail
Or that your date’s hair flips up on the left but under on the right. You’ve never noticed something like that about a person before, so why now? Because when there’s true chemistry, the body’s levels of the chemical dopamine rise and lead to “imprinting,” a theory of attachment discovered by German ethologist and Nobel Prize winner Niko Tinbergen. This imprinting makes you focus on this one person more clearly and notice the tiniest, most insignificant details about a person — including possessions. Says Dr. Fisher, “Your date’s car in the parking lot looks different. His or her backpack looks different. That person’s coat on the coat rack stands out. Everything is special, novel, unique.” CHECK!!!

Subtle sign #3: You agree to split the spinach dip appetizer — and you don’t even like spinach dip!
True chemistry makes us more mellow than usual — so don’t be surprised if you find yourself being agreeable with your date in ways you might not with anyone else: You don’t mind walking 10 blocks with your date from your parking spot. You’re suddenly up for seeing a Rob Schneider movie. And even though you’re not a fan of Indian food, what the heck, you’ll give it another shot. “When you’re falling in love, you more easily surrender your boundaries because of a strong desire to merge with that person,” explains Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Keeping the Love You Find. CHECK!!!

Subtle sign #4: The room you’re in seems brighter than usual
Did someone nudge up the dimmer switch? Perhaps. But it could also mean you’re smitten, thanks to a physiological reaction discovered by University of Chicago biopsychologist Eckhard Hess, a pioneer in the area of “pupillometrics.” In short, Hess found that when people look at something or someone that causes positive feelings or sparks interest, their pupils dilate in an attempt to take in more of it, also letting in more light as well. CHECK!!!

Subtle sign #5: You’re more fidgety during the date
If you find yourself stroking your own arm, tapping your leg, or otherwise fidgeting during the date, rest assured: Whether you fully know it or not, you like this person. “These are ‘displacement gestures’ — what you do when you’re trying to decide what to do with yourself,” explains Dr. Fisher. “If someone is smiling at you and you can’t decide if you should smile back or look away, you play with your hair. Or you run your tongue along your teeth.” This happens because your brain is over-stimulated, leading you to vent the extra energy with a little self-grooming. Some experts even argue that stroking your own arm or leg indicates a subconscious desire to reach out and touch the person you’re with.

Subtle sign #6: You keep forgetting there’s food on the table
When you’re out with someone who doesn’t float your boat, boy, do those garlic mashed potatoes taste good. But if you’re feeling a chemical attraction to someone, the food being served is the last thing on your mind — and not just because you’re nervous. Blame this on elevated levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which fuels feelings of desire. Higher levels of dopamine, according to Dr. Fisher, “give you a feeling of lightness, increased energy and a feeling of minor ecstasy. And you’re definitely not hungry!” So if your date seems disappointed that you only ate four bites of your steak, you can clear it up later by explaining what a five-star sign it really is.

Subtle sign #7: You feel more “familiar” with your date than “lusty”
Sure, most people think it’s a good sign when they want to jump over the table and rip their date’s clothes off. But let’s be honest—there are plenty of acquaintances you’ve wanted to do that to, and there was no deeper, underlying chemistry there. A stronger sign is that instead of feeling lust for your date, you’re overwhelmed by a feeling of familiarity — a sense of, “Gosh, I feel like I’ve known you before.” The chemistry at work, says Dr. Hendrix, “is due to the emotional center in your brain’s limbic system recognizing qualities in the person that resemble qualities about the caretakers we had during childhood.” For example, a man might recognize a feeling of being at ease and nurtured the way his mother made him feel. A woman might feel comfortable with the dry humor of her date, similar to the way her father interacted with her. “This intense familiarity triggers the release of dopamine, which can lead to that ‘Wow’ feeling,” explains Dr. Hendrix. Oh, and by this point, it’s also definitely OK to want to jump over the table and rip your date’s clothes off! CHECK!!!

~~~~

4 out of 7... Hmm... not bad... HAHAHA!!!

Party Time

COMCAST Soft-Disco
Michigan and New England - TEAM JON CAB

STOP LIGHT PARTY

Moomba, Mo. Ignacia St., Quezon City
May 30, 2010 / 8:00pm


wear red top if you're taken, yellow if its complicated
and green if you're single and ready to mingle...

...

Lazy Monday morning.

Tired but happy.

Thanks Love for a nice Sunday night. Hehehe! :p

...

Woke up late... Didn't go to work. Hehehe! Spending time with my baby instead. :p

Surprise Surprise!!!

Last Friday night, I was on my way to work when I saw my good old brother. The second from the eldest. He said he has a gift for me. Advance birthday gift. I laughed when I heard him say that. I didn't believe him until he gave me a small box. WTF! A new cellphone! Hahaha!!! Is this for real?? I kept asking him. "So what's the catch?" He said nothing. Just a gift. Talk about surprises.

Well actually, he bought the phone for himself. Over excited kasi. He didn't test if he'll be comfortable using that kind of unit. But then, good thing he didn't like it! I was there for the hand-me-down! Love it!

Although at first, I had a hard time navigating, it will take some time to get used to it. It's fun! Plus Kuya had a 4gig (expandable till 8gig) memory card thrown with it. Can't wait to load all those nice songs I got from a friend.

Samsung GT-S3653W and my other phone E63 (both black) has a new partner now. New cellphones, new numbers. Out with the old, in with the new! Hehehe!!!

Thanks brother dearest! :)

Someday i'll find my Way Back In To Love..

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

...

Sometimes in life, we must know when to quit.

Accept that no matter how hard we try to make things work, when you know it’s not going to work, it will never work.

We must learn to admit when things are not meant to be, it will never be whatever you do.

The hardest part is, telling it to someone who doesn’t want to give up. I know he’ll hate me and I don’t know if he’ll speak to me ever again.

But then again, I know it is the most dignified thing to do. Saving that person from all the heartaches. Face the consequences.

It all boils down to being honest with what you feel. Hoping that someday that person would find in his heart to forgive you. Hoping that he’ll understand why you have to do it.

It is all about taking full responsibility and moving forward without worrying that you’ve hurt someone from your past because you choose to face the problem head-on than hide behind all the same old shit of “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” reason. Face the music . Have the balls. Have the guts. Have the nerve to tell it to his face that it’s not working.

This is going to be one difficult week for me.

~~~~

He has persistently asked me of how I feel for almost a month now.

I tried.

I really did.

But my whole heart is not into it.

I still tried, but when things started to change, as days go by, between my heart and what his intentions were...

I knew, I have to let go... I have to tell him.

I do love the attention. I like the affection he shows but to be in a relationship again? I’m not sure if I’m ready with all my heart – with all of me.

Let’s put it this way, being in a relationship, I do miss the feeling. I do miss having someone beside me, caring for someone and all that bruhaha, but thinking about all the freedom and choices I have as a single person, it is beyond what I could put into words. This is the first time in my whole life, since I had my first boyfriend, that I’m without a boyfriend for more than four months. It’s been almost nine months now, I do get lonely sometimes but then, looking at all of my options and adventures and besides I’m not really looking for someone just yet, I’m just enjoying the ride until I can. And I know, when the right person comes along, I know the universe will have it’s own way of letting me know that he is the one for me.

But at this point, I don't think so.

Happy Weekend!

Looking forward to this weekend! Crossing my fingers... :p

hhmmm...

Gad! I miss my books. I miss reading.
But I love sleep more... Hahaha!

Hmmm...

I'm not really sure how it all happened.
I was minding my own thing.
Work, work and work is all what I could think of.

Then there you were.
I asked for you to tell me things about you.
You opened yourself, your life.

Little did I know it would be the start.
I was clueless you were falling in love.
I was naive and stupid to even notice.

You had your chance to tell me.
And I was really surprised.
Am I ready? Are you sure?

You kissed me.
I kissed you back.

You held me in your arms.
I cried. You dried my tears.
Told me it's all going to be alright.

Then here we are.
I'm scared and you want me to be happy.
I want you to be happy.

Take my time you said.
And you'll just be by my side.
Promised not to let go...

All I Need

Kissing you was not what I had planned
And now I'm not so sure just where I stand
I wasn't looking for true love
But now you're looking at me
You're the only one I can think of
You're the only one I see

All I need
Is just a little more time
To be sure
What I feel
Is it all in my mind?
'Cause it seems so hard to believe
That you're all I need

I guess it's true we've all been hurt before
But it doesn't seem to matter anymore
It's maybe a chance we're taking
But it always comes to this
If this isn't love we're making
Then I don't know what it is

All I need
Is just a little more time
To be sure
What I feel
Is it all in my mind?
'Cause it seems so hard to believe
That you're all I need

No stars are out to night
But we're shining our own light
And it's never felt so right
'Cause boy the way I'm feeling
It's easy to believe?
That you're all I need
You're all I need

...

"Reveal to them everything there is to know about you
and let the chips fall where they may."

Find A Way...

Find a way to my heart, and I will always be with you
From wherever you are, I'll be waiting
I'll keep a place in my heart, you will see it shining through
So find a way to my heart, and I will, I will follow you

This journey's not easy for you, I know
If your footsteps get too faint to hear, I'll go
Cos you know, questions are never that easy
And never the same
You have the answer believe me
If you have the faith

Find a way to my heart...

Time may come, and time may go, I know
If you should call out for me, I'll go
But you know, there is a code to be broken
I wrap it around
Without a word being spoken
Without a sound

There's a reason I hide my heart
Out of sight out of mind
And when I find out just who you are
The door will be open for you to..

Find a way to my heart...