Just a few more hours and I'm off to Coron, Palawan with Tet for a four day vacation... Yeepee!!!!!
See you soon blog! :p
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
What now?
Birth
When you open the book here, it signals new beginnings. Birth can be taken literally. Perhaps there is a baby on the way now, or very soon. Perhaps one has just been born. This is about fertility. The time is ripe for new life and new hope.
It can also signify the beginning of a new phase in your relationship, or even a new relationship. If you are hoping to fall in love you can afford to feel very optimistic. Something is gestating and in the near future it will manifest in your life and show itself. Right now you need to make sure that you keep your focus on your dreams and make the most of this period of potential. This is the time to encourage your creativity, to dust off those half-finished projects or start something new. You must admit to yourself what a new beginning would mean to you and then go after it. If you stay true to yourself, anything can be accomplished.
Birth provides you or your relationship with the opportunity of rebirth. You can start again in a new way. A fresh slate is being offered if you are willing to take it. But remember that infancy is the outcome of birth. It's a period of vulnerability and there is a strong need for nurturing and protection. You can't launch a new beginning and then neglect it and hope that all will turn out well. This is a time for focus and gentleness. Get support from those around you; new births don't flourish in solitude. Gather your clan around you and rejoice.
When you open the book here, it signals new beginnings. Birth can be taken literally. Perhaps there is a baby on the way now, or very soon. Perhaps one has just been born. This is about fertility. The time is ripe for new life and new hope.
It can also signify the beginning of a new phase in your relationship, or even a new relationship. If you are hoping to fall in love you can afford to feel very optimistic. Something is gestating and in the near future it will manifest in your life and show itself. Right now you need to make sure that you keep your focus on your dreams and make the most of this period of potential. This is the time to encourage your creativity, to dust off those half-finished projects or start something new. You must admit to yourself what a new beginning would mean to you and then go after it. If you stay true to yourself, anything can be accomplished.
Birth provides you or your relationship with the opportunity of rebirth. You can start again in a new way. A fresh slate is being offered if you are willing to take it. But remember that infancy is the outcome of birth. It's a period of vulnerability and there is a strong need for nurturing and protection. You can't launch a new beginning and then neglect it and hope that all will turn out well. This is a time for focus and gentleness. Get support from those around you; new births don't flourish in solitude. Gather your clan around you and rejoice.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Safety
When you open this book here, know that safety is an essential quality for success in love and relationships. Its importance is rarely adequately recognized and as an issue it is frequently misunderstood. The term "safety" means "the freedom from threat of danger or injury" and it includes both your physical and your emotional well-being. You need to stop and review how safe you are feeling at the moment and also the reality of how safe you actually are.
Look at the obvious issues. Ask yourself some very basic questions. Are you physically safe in your relationship? Is there violence or the threat of violence in your love life? Think carefully when you answer this question. Has violence been escalating in your life recently? Are there doors slammed, glasses broken or any other acts like this which you are trivializing or dismissing? Take these issues seriously, because otherwise they'll only get worse.
If you are looking for a new relationship or have just met someone new this card cautions you to look after yourself properly. Meet in public places and go slowly until you really know that you can trust this person. If they are safe they will respect your caution.
Next, look at your emotional safety. How do you feel in relationships? Do you trust that you can open up and show your true self or are you careful and cautious, always trying to get it right so that you don't leave yourself vulnerable or exposed? In love we ought to feel safe. We deserve to believe that our feelings will be respected. Take this seriously. If something isn't right, it won't go away if you bury your head in the sand.
Or, it may be that you could be safer in your relationship or potential relationship than you realize. Now may be the time to move forward and take the risk of being more open and asking for what you want. Stop and think about what you need to feel safe. You may need to practice this alone before you can share it with another. Find out what it takes to make you feel comfortable. Comfort and safety are intricately linked. When you get better at tuning in to your feelings you'll learn to trust your instincts and you'll know when you are safe and when you're not.
Remember, safety is the foundation stone of LOVE.
(Love Wisdom by Carolyn Temsi & Caro Handley)
Look at the obvious issues. Ask yourself some very basic questions. Are you physically safe in your relationship? Is there violence or the threat of violence in your love life? Think carefully when you answer this question. Has violence been escalating in your life recently? Are there doors slammed, glasses broken or any other acts like this which you are trivializing or dismissing? Take these issues seriously, because otherwise they'll only get worse.
If you are looking for a new relationship or have just met someone new this card cautions you to look after yourself properly. Meet in public places and go slowly until you really know that you can trust this person. If they are safe they will respect your caution.
Next, look at your emotional safety. How do you feel in relationships? Do you trust that you can open up and show your true self or are you careful and cautious, always trying to get it right so that you don't leave yourself vulnerable or exposed? In love we ought to feel safe. We deserve to believe that our feelings will be respected. Take this seriously. If something isn't right, it won't go away if you bury your head in the sand.
Or, it may be that you could be safer in your relationship or potential relationship than you realize. Now may be the time to move forward and take the risk of being more open and asking for what you want. Stop and think about what you need to feel safe. You may need to practice this alone before you can share it with another. Find out what it takes to make you feel comfortable. Comfort and safety are intricately linked. When you get better at tuning in to your feelings you'll learn to trust your instincts and you'll know when you are safe and when you're not.
Remember, safety is the foundation stone of LOVE.
(Love Wisdom by Carolyn Temsi & Caro Handley)
Friday, August 28, 2009
Now That You're Gone
Well I can see heaven
See it over the plain
If I start running now
I think I can make it
And never look back again
Your face is all around me
Your keys are in my hand
And everywhere I go
I'll try to remember
Exactly who I am
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
We made a bed of roses
But I got pricked by the thorns
And on a long cold night
I still think I'm bleeding
But I wake up untorn
Well I am a missing person
I've lost it all but my name
And, I'm afraid some long lonely road
Will lead me back to you again
Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nobody's watching me
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe
See it over the plain
If I start running now
I think I can make it
And never look back again
Your face is all around me
Your keys are in my hand
And everywhere I go
I'll try to remember
Exactly who I am
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
We made a bed of roses
But I got pricked by the thorns
And on a long cold night
I still think I'm bleeding
But I wake up untorn
Well I am a missing person
I've lost it all but my name
And, I'm afraid some long lonely road
Will lead me back to you again
Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nothing belongs to me
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
'Cause now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Free to make a mess of everything
'Cause nobody's watching me
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe
Now that you're gone
I am free
Now that you're gone
I can breathe
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
WTF?
After a break up what do you do?
I sulked.
I sulked. I cried. I sulked. I cried. I sulked.
Then...
After walking around with a heavy heart, yesterday I finally WOKE UP - from whatever rotten pit I was swimming in for almost a month now.
Just one text message triggered it.
Last Sunday... actually around 12:58AM, the he who must not be named (according to Mariel), sent a text message... “I'm so sorry for everything. I'm a bad person.” Ahh.. Hello! You're not a bad person... YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!
A JERK...
I replied with a message thinking that, “I think he is okay and I think he is ready to talk yada yada yada.. as in talk”. But he didn't replied. I sent him another message again... because I'm so stupid – “I miss you” stupid really! AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING... I tried calling him and he wouldn't pick up... I got the message... “DON'T CALL HIM DON'T TEXT HIM BUT HE COULD TEXT YOU.”
I just don't get it! Why send a effing “sorry” message then don't respond!?!
I really am trying to be nice after all WHAT HE DID to me. I TRIED TO BE NICE. Really. But this effing guy is just pushing it. I just gave in to my anger and told him a piece of my mind. And miraculously... I felt a heavy load was lifted from my chest. I felt.... HAPPY. I felt free. I felt as light as a balloon floating in the sky. I FELT FREE!!!
Mariel was right... I need to feel the anger. The more I hold it back, the more I got depress and couldn't focus on myself. I think the depression I felt was anger I was holding in. Hhmm...
What a realization...
I just wish that men, a effing BOY for that matter, would stick to whatever decision they've made. HAVE THE BALLS to tell to your partner if you want out. AND EFFING GROW UP!!!
Now, on to a much better news...
I'm off to Coron, Palawan next week. For a four day-three night vacation...
A very timely vacation..
New start for me...
Time to unwind and be happy...
A VERY MUCH NEEDED VACATION!!!! Yahooooo!!!!!!
I sulked.
I sulked. I cried. I sulked. I cried. I sulked.
Then...
After walking around with a heavy heart, yesterday I finally WOKE UP - from whatever rotten pit I was swimming in for almost a month now.
Just one text message triggered it.
Last Sunday... actually around 12:58AM, the he who must not be named (according to Mariel), sent a text message... “I'm so sorry for everything. I'm a bad person.” Ahh.. Hello! You're not a bad person... YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!
A JERK...
I replied with a message thinking that, “I think he is okay and I think he is ready to talk yada yada yada.. as in talk”. But he didn't replied. I sent him another message again... because I'm so stupid – “I miss you” stupid really! AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING... I tried calling him and he wouldn't pick up... I got the message... “DON'T CALL HIM DON'T TEXT HIM BUT HE COULD TEXT YOU.”
GOD! What does this effing guy wants from me???
I just don't get it! Why send a effing “sorry” message then don't respond!?!
I really am trying to be nice after all WHAT HE DID to me. I TRIED TO BE NICE. Really. But this effing guy is just pushing it. I just gave in to my anger and told him a piece of my mind. And miraculously... I felt a heavy load was lifted from my chest. I felt.... HAPPY. I felt free. I felt as light as a balloon floating in the sky. I FELT FREE!!!
Mariel was right... I need to feel the anger. The more I hold it back, the more I got depress and couldn't focus on myself. I think the depression I felt was anger I was holding in. Hhmm...
What a realization...
I just wish that men, a effing BOY for that matter, would stick to whatever decision they've made. HAVE THE BALLS to tell to your partner if you want out. AND EFFING GROW UP!!!
Now, on to a much better news...
I'm off to Coron, Palawan next week. For a four day-three night vacation...
A very timely vacation..
New start for me...
Time to unwind and be happy...
A VERY MUCH NEEDED VACATION!!!! Yahooooo!!!!!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Dreaming with a broken heart
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
He takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can't, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh
Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
He takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No he can't, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh
Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
Monday, August 17, 2009
On Love
The only thing I know I'm guilty of is that, I love too much..
Spreading myself too thin and getting hurt in the end.
~~~~
I thought, if I give my all, he won't leave.
I thought, if I'm always there to support him, he won't leave.
I thought, if I just be myself, he won't leave.
I guess, I was wrong.
~~~~
Lesson learned. Broken heart. Now, I'm taking each day one at a time.
Baby steps. I know I'll be alright. I know it'll pass. I know I'll be able to love again.
Hopefully, this time, it'll be different.
Hopefully, to find someone who truly deserves me. All of me.
Spreading myself too thin and getting hurt in the end.
~~~~
I thought, if I give my all, he won't leave.
I thought, if I'm always there to support him, he won't leave.
I thought, if I just be myself, he won't leave.
I guess, I was wrong.
~~~~
Lesson learned. Broken heart. Now, I'm taking each day one at a time.
Baby steps. I know I'll be alright. I know it'll pass. I know I'll be able to love again.
Hopefully, this time, it'll be different.
Hopefully, to find someone who truly deserves me. All of me.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Time of Your Life
You say, you've got all you'd ever want
Then how come you're
Demanding everything
A little more from everyone
You're always
Turning all my rights to wrongs
With the bitter words you're whispering
I see we've come undone, well
There's something wrong about it
Your life's too over crowded
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I Guess
I'm wasting your time, baby
If something within you
Can't be satisfied
Then Get up, Get out, Give In, oh if
I'm cramping your style, lately
If something is greener on the other side
THEN GO ON, AND HAVE
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
Shameful, always treated me the same
Twisting every little circumstance
In to your gain
Resentful, gone too far to give a damn
All those things that did belong to me
Keep 'em like you planned, well
There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess
Ain't no reason in me holding you down
So move on baby, and someone else
proud, because...
Chorus
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life
There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess
Then how come you're
Demanding everything
A little more from everyone
You're always
Turning all my rights to wrongs
With the bitter words you're whispering
I see we've come undone, well
There's something wrong about it
Your life's too over crowded
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I Guess
I'm wasting your time, baby
If something within you
Can't be satisfied
Then Get up, Get out, Give In, oh if
I'm cramping your style, lately
If something is greener on the other side
THEN GO ON, AND HAVE
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE
Shameful, always treated me the same
Twisting every little circumstance
In to your gain
Resentful, gone too far to give a damn
All those things that did belong to me
Keep 'em like you planned, well
There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess
Ain't no reason in me holding you down
So move on baby, and someone else
proud, because...
Chorus
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life
The time of your life
There's no two ways about it
My life's too short for shouting
I'm tired of giving it all
And taking the fall, I guess
Monday Blues No More
Woke up today feeling a lot more better than before... I've decided to stop feeling depress and lonely...
Told myself, no more pains.. No more sadness...
TIME TO MOVE ON...
Time to open the window and let the light in... :)
(i'm getting a new haircut today... hehehe....)
Told myself, no more pains.. No more sadness...
TIME TO MOVE ON...
Time to open the window and let the light in... :)
(i'm getting a new haircut today... hehehe....)
Isang Munting Text
Paalala:
Kapag nagmahal ka wag kang aasa kung ano ung nararamdaman mo...
Tandaan mo:
Na minsan ang pag gamit ng utak ay mas nakakabuti...
Next:
Wag mong gagamitin ang mata mo para umiyak sa taong nanakit sayo...
Instead:
Gamitin mo para maghanap ng iba...
Lastly:
Wag kang matakot sa pakikipaghiwalay...
Take Note:
Mahalin mo ung taong ipaglalaban ka at handang harapin lahat ng pagsubok na darating sa inyong relasyon...
Ung taong matatawag mong "PARTNER" kesa "lover"....
Got this message from a person I least expected to text me or to even know my current situation... Thank you! Sapul na sapul!!! Hehehe!!!
Kapag nagmahal ka wag kang aasa kung ano ung nararamdaman mo...
Tandaan mo:
Na minsan ang pag gamit ng utak ay mas nakakabuti...
Next:
Wag mong gagamitin ang mata mo para umiyak sa taong nanakit sayo...
Instead:
Gamitin mo para maghanap ng iba...
Lastly:
Wag kang matakot sa pakikipaghiwalay...
Take Note:
Mahalin mo ung taong ipaglalaban ka at handang harapin lahat ng pagsubok na darating sa inyong relasyon...
Ung taong matatawag mong "PARTNER" kesa "lover"....
Got this message from a person I least expected to text me or to even know my current situation... Thank you! Sapul na sapul!!! Hehehe!!!
Never Say Goodbye
Traveling down the road
Passing the signs that used to be
I remember you and me
The road that leads me home
Is it too far for me to find
The days we left behind
Then the day you left me
It took me by surprise
Do you really love me
I can't see it in your eyes
(But) you never said goodbye
You never heard my cry
The day you left my side
'Coz you never said goodbye
I live my life alone
Wondering what went wrong
You're trapped inside my mind
You never said goodbye
May be I was wrong
To think that we could ever be
Was it enough for you and me
We could have it all
It's not too late to realize
The way we feel inside
Then the day you left me
Took me by surprise
I know you really love me
Passing the signs that used to be
I remember you and me
The road that leads me home
Is it too far for me to find
The days we left behind
Then the day you left me
It took me by surprise
Do you really love me
I can't see it in your eyes
(But) you never said goodbye
You never heard my cry
The day you left my side
'Coz you never said goodbye
I live my life alone
Wondering what went wrong
You're trapped inside my mind
You never said goodbye
May be I was wrong
To think that we could ever be
Was it enough for you and me
We could have it all
It's not too late to realize
The way we feel inside
Then the day you left me
Took me by surprise
I know you really love me
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Where Do I Go?
I know its been some time
But there's something on my mind
You see, I haven't been the same
Since that cold august day...
You said we needed space
But all I found was an empty place
And the only thing I learned
Is that I need you desperately...
So here I am
And can you please tell me... oh
Chorus:
Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Wont they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care, for me
Ive been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No you just cant run away...
And what we have is so much more
Than we ever had before
And no matter how I try
You're always on my mind
But there's something on my mind
You see, I haven't been the same
Since that cold august day...
You said we needed space
But all I found was an empty place
And the only thing I learned
Is that I need you desperately...
So here I am
And can you please tell me... oh
Chorus:
Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Wont they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care, for me
Ive been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No you just cant run away...
And what we have is so much more
Than we ever had before
And no matter how I try
You're always on my mind
How Do You Heal A Broken Heart
I can't believe what i just heard
Could it be true
Are you the boy I thought I knew
The one who promised me his love
Where did it go
Does anybody ever know
Chorus:
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never beat this much again
Oh no
I just can't let go
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
Oh no
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I'll pretend to let you go
And were you ever what you seemed
Or was I a fool who fell in love
With her own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you'd never say
Chorus:
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I'll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found
A new life
In my soul
And find that I know how to let you go
You go
Chorus:
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow i'll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I know how to let you go
Could it be true
Are you the boy I thought I knew
The one who promised me his love
Where did it go
Does anybody ever know
Chorus:
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never beat this much again
Oh no
I just can't let go
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
Oh no
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I'll pretend to let you go
And were you ever what you seemed
Or was I a fool who fell in love
With her own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you'd never say
Chorus:
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I'll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found
A new life
In my soul
And find that I know how to let you go
You go
Chorus:
Tonight I'll hold what could be right
Tomorrow i'll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I know how to let you go
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Bluer than Blue
After you go
I can catch uo on my readin'
After you go
I'll have a lot more time to sleepin'
And when you're gone looks like things
Are gonna be a lot easier
Life will be a breeze you know
I really should be glad
But I'm bluer than blue
Sadder than sad
I You're the only light
This empty room has ever had
Life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue
After you go
I'll have a lot more room in my closet
After you go
I'll stay out all night long if I feel like it
And when you're gone
I can run through the house screamin'
And no one will ever hear me
I really should be glad
repeat I
I don't have to miss no TV shows
I can start my whole life over
Change the numbers on my telephone
But the nights will sure be colder
repeat I
Bluer than blue, Bluer than blue
I can catch uo on my readin'
After you go
I'll have a lot more time to sleepin'
And when you're gone looks like things
Are gonna be a lot easier
Life will be a breeze you know
I really should be glad
But I'm bluer than blue
Sadder than sad
I You're the only light
This empty room has ever had
Life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue
After you go
I'll have a lot more room in my closet
After you go
I'll stay out all night long if I feel like it
And when you're gone
I can run through the house screamin'
And no one will ever hear me
I really should be glad
repeat I
I don't have to miss no TV shows
I can start my whole life over
Change the numbers on my telephone
But the nights will sure be colder
repeat I
Bluer than blue, Bluer than blue
Heart of Mine
one day, you may
find true love that will last forever and ever
'till then you'll spend
a lifetime wishing one together
you never thought he'd say goodbye
and you will never understand the reasons why
chorus:
heart of mine, how can you keep from dying
stop reminiscin', who is he kissing
heart of mine, oh what's the use in tryin'
no one can mend you know
love plays cruel games
you can't believe he's found another lover
does he miss me
sometimes you just can't help but wonder
no you can't hold the hands of time
and you will always be the one he left behind
and you will always be the one he left behind
lalala...lalalala...
no one can mend you now
find true love that will last forever and ever
'till then you'll spend
a lifetime wishing one together
you never thought he'd say goodbye
and you will never understand the reasons why
chorus:
heart of mine, how can you keep from dying
stop reminiscin', who is he kissing
heart of mine, oh what's the use in tryin'
no one can mend you know
love plays cruel games
you can't believe he's found another lover
does he miss me
sometimes you just can't help but wonder
no you can't hold the hands of time
and you will always be the one he left behind
and you will always be the one he left behind
lalala...lalalala...
no one can mend you now
There's No Easy Way
I held her close to me
Coz I know she breaks so easily
And then I told her
Though I knew no matter how I tried to console her
Then she'd do the best she could
But there are times the best is no damn good
And no matter how you try to be kind
There's always still a part of you you'll leave behind
When they fall apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.
I lied and told her she'll be fine
Though we both knew it was just a lie
I had to do it
Coz I had said anything to help me get through it.
And she reached out for my hand
And her simple touch was more than I could stand
And I had to turn away coz I knew
All the hurt that she was feeling, I was feeling too
When they fall apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.
She could've gotten angry
And made me feel like a guilty child
But I realized that never was her style
I wanted her to hurt me
And not treat me like a friend
I wanted her to say "there'd be someday
I'd come crawling on my knees to ask her back again"
But she acted like a lady till the end
Oh, what a lady!
I thought that she'd bring down
But she smiled at me and never made a sound
And I guess she understood in her way
Coz her silence told me everything she could not say
When they fall apart
There's easy way to break
There's just no easy way
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart...
Coz I know she breaks so easily
And then I told her
Though I knew no matter how I tried to console her
Then she'd do the best she could
But there are times the best is no damn good
And no matter how you try to be kind
There's always still a part of you you'll leave behind
When they fall apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.
I lied and told her she'll be fine
Though we both knew it was just a lie
I had to do it
Coz I had said anything to help me get through it.
And she reached out for my hand
And her simple touch was more than I could stand
And I had to turn away coz I knew
All the hurt that she was feeling, I was feeling too
When they fall apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.
She could've gotten angry
And made me feel like a guilty child
But I realized that never was her style
I wanted her to hurt me
And not treat me like a friend
I wanted her to say "there'd be someday
I'd come crawling on my knees to ask her back again"
But she acted like a lady till the end
Oh, what a lady!
I thought that she'd bring down
But she smiled at me and never made a sound
And I guess she understood in her way
Coz her silence told me everything she could not say
When they fall apart
There's easy way to break
There's just no easy way
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart...
Messages
I: Bakit ganun, parang ang dali dali para sayo, kalimutan lahat, talikuran lahat and just walk away from it all... Bakit ganun...
J: I'm also having some thinking of my own... masama din ang loob ko dahil sa ginawa ko...
I: Ilang beses ka nadapa, pero I never gave up on you when you asked for a 2nd or 3rd chance... Ang gusto ko lang sana kasi kinausap moko ng harapan. Dahil iintindihin kita... Kahit ano pa gusto mo, iintindihin kita kung kinausap moko at di iniwan sa ere... Di nako galit. Drain na drain lang...
I: Kung hinarap moko at nagusap tayo ng maayos and you asked for some space, I would have let you go... Let you go maski masakit at dahil mahal kita, I would have set you free, kung alam ko lang na di kana masaya... Maayos sana... Walang samaan ng loob.. Masakit pero I would have let you go... Di sana ganito...
J: Napaka unjustifiable siguro ng reason ko. Pero ayoko makita kitang umiiyak... because i will stay again. Then same problem. Unfair na naman lalo sayo un. Dahil sa ginawa ko na ito. Lalo ko lang ginawang komplikado sitwasyon ko. Napaka gulo ng isip ko.
I: Ano ba problema?
J: Gusto ko lang magkaron ng oras sa sarili ko. Kaya sana patawarin moko kung naging biglaan. Ilang buwan ko na daladala ito. Kaya masyado na unfair sayo. Walang ibang taong involve. Sarili ko lang...
I: Kelan mo pa naramdaman yan?
J: Around April - May...
I: Hangang kelan? Bakit mo sinabing babalik ka?
J: I know myself. Kaya ko sinabing babalik ako because of possibilities... ang hirap mangako. Mahirap magbigay ng time frame. Mahirap magpaasa. I can't afford to hurt you again.
I: So.... It is over... No more promises... Un nga.. Let's go on with our own lives... Salamat at sumagot ka sa text ko... At least kahit pano, alam mo un... Naintindihan ko... Ayoko ng galit... Dahil naging masaya rin tayo e. Siguro di pa tayo para sa isa't isa. Salamat dahil naging parte ka ng buhay ko. Salamat sa lahat.
I: Kung saan ka masaya... Suportahan kita... Sana matagpuan mo kung ano man yang gusto mo. Sana maging maligaya ka...
I: Sorry sa lahat ng kung ano mang nagawa ko sayo... Basta... Sorry...
I: Minahal mo ba ako?
J: Oo. Nung una palang kitang nakita. Tunay at totoo ang naramdaman ko para sayo...
I: E ngayon?
J: Hangang ngayon...
I: What happened to us?
J: Don't use "us" it's not your fault...
I: I don't know kung ano pang formula to make a relationship work... Suko nako... I don't know what happened..
J: Im sorry din sa lahat lahat... Messing up all the things you've planned five years ago... and I also thank you sincerely for giving and sharing me your life with those five years we had...
-END-
When i woke up after a few hours I sent him these messages.. but he never replied anymore... I guess this is...
I: Is this goodbye? Are we saying goodbye?
I: Isang pitik ng kamay... Ganun lang kadali...
I: Im so sorry kung I keep texting you. Kung naiistorbo kita.. Di lang kasi ako makapaniwala na eto na talaga un. I keep sayign to myself to be strong pero ang hirap, dahil nawala ung taong pinagkukunan ko ng lakas. I feel so empty. Di ko lam kung san ko uumpisahang pulutin sarili ko. Mahal kita e. Minahal kita ng sobra sobra, wala nang naiwan sa akin... Mahirap umasa, mahirap magpaasa... Masakit talaga... Napakasakit...
J: I'm also having some thinking of my own... masama din ang loob ko dahil sa ginawa ko...
I: Ilang beses ka nadapa, pero I never gave up on you when you asked for a 2nd or 3rd chance... Ang gusto ko lang sana kasi kinausap moko ng harapan. Dahil iintindihin kita... Kahit ano pa gusto mo, iintindihin kita kung kinausap moko at di iniwan sa ere... Di nako galit. Drain na drain lang...
I: Kung hinarap moko at nagusap tayo ng maayos and you asked for some space, I would have let you go... Let you go maski masakit at dahil mahal kita, I would have set you free, kung alam ko lang na di kana masaya... Maayos sana... Walang samaan ng loob.. Masakit pero I would have let you go... Di sana ganito...
J: Napaka unjustifiable siguro ng reason ko. Pero ayoko makita kitang umiiyak... because i will stay again. Then same problem. Unfair na naman lalo sayo un. Dahil sa ginawa ko na ito. Lalo ko lang ginawang komplikado sitwasyon ko. Napaka gulo ng isip ko.
I: Ano ba problema?
J: Gusto ko lang magkaron ng oras sa sarili ko. Kaya sana patawarin moko kung naging biglaan. Ilang buwan ko na daladala ito. Kaya masyado na unfair sayo. Walang ibang taong involve. Sarili ko lang...
I: Kelan mo pa naramdaman yan?
J: Around April - May...
I: Hangang kelan? Bakit mo sinabing babalik ka?
J: I know myself. Kaya ko sinabing babalik ako because of possibilities... ang hirap mangako. Mahirap magbigay ng time frame. Mahirap magpaasa. I can't afford to hurt you again.
I: So.... It is over... No more promises... Un nga.. Let's go on with our own lives... Salamat at sumagot ka sa text ko... At least kahit pano, alam mo un... Naintindihan ko... Ayoko ng galit... Dahil naging masaya rin tayo e. Siguro di pa tayo para sa isa't isa. Salamat dahil naging parte ka ng buhay ko. Salamat sa lahat.
I: Kung saan ka masaya... Suportahan kita... Sana matagpuan mo kung ano man yang gusto mo. Sana maging maligaya ka...
I: Sorry sa lahat ng kung ano mang nagawa ko sayo... Basta... Sorry...
I: Minahal mo ba ako?
J: Oo. Nung una palang kitang nakita. Tunay at totoo ang naramdaman ko para sayo...
I: E ngayon?
J: Hangang ngayon...
I: What happened to us?
J: Don't use "us" it's not your fault...
I: I don't know kung ano pang formula to make a relationship work... Suko nako... I don't know what happened..
J: Im sorry din sa lahat lahat... Messing up all the things you've planned five years ago... and I also thank you sincerely for giving and sharing me your life with those five years we had...
-END-
When i woke up after a few hours I sent him these messages.. but he never replied anymore... I guess this is...
I: Is this goodbye? Are we saying goodbye?
I: Isang pitik ng kamay... Ganun lang kadali...
I: Im so sorry kung I keep texting you. Kung naiistorbo kita.. Di lang kasi ako makapaniwala na eto na talaga un. I keep sayign to myself to be strong pero ang hirap, dahil nawala ung taong pinagkukunan ko ng lakas. I feel so empty. Di ko lam kung san ko uumpisahang pulutin sarili ko. Mahal kita e. Minahal kita ng sobra sobra, wala nang naiwan sa akin... Mahirap umasa, mahirap magpaasa... Masakit talaga... Napakasakit...
Friday, August 07, 2009
Broken
I got this letter yesterday.
I broke down.
I broke down.
ina,
hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan ito, masyado nang unfair para sa iyo itong nararamandaman ko. i need a break. i miss myself so much...walang ibang involve kundi sarili ko lang.sana maintindihan mko. i just wanted to spend time with myself and work. ilagay muna natin ang relationship natin into hold. i just simply need time and space. hindi ko na kasi kayang itago ito e. habang wala ako, please go on with the stuff ur doing. get a job take care of our mandy and edong.ayoko ng magsosoli ka ng gamit ko..ganun din ako.ur name will always be with me....pls don't think that i'll throw away our 5 wonderful years. i promise i'll be back.....i will ofcourse miss you.you will always be my BE
jetong
I just couldn't phantom the pain. I threw up three times.
How would you react if your love one broke up with you thru an email?
I was shocked. I didn't see it coming. I thought everything was okay with us. Because we made a promise to tell each other if there is something wrong, if we feel something like this. But he didn't. HE TOOK THE EASIEST WAY OUT FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP.
Why? So many questions left unanswered... I'm lost. I'm still in that stage where in everything hasn't sinked in yet. I feel betrayed. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel so alone. The last person I thought I could trust with my life and with my heart left me. He left me in pieces. He broke my heart. He broke my soul.
Five years. Five years, just gone in one email.
Where do I start?
If only you could fast forward everything to the day where in you don't remember him anymore and the pain he gave you.
It's so hard to go home, to my room. Where in we shared a lot of things together. It's so hard to look around and not see him, feel him, smell him.
Why? Why? Why?
I want to drown my misery. I want to feel numb. If only there is something you could take to make everything go away. If only I could erase the last five years of my life..
Where and how will I begin to pick the pieces?
I just couldn't phantom the pain. I threw up three times.
How would you react if your love one broke up with you thru an email?
I was shocked. I didn't see it coming. I thought everything was okay with us. Because we made a promise to tell each other if there is something wrong, if we feel something like this. But he didn't. HE TOOK THE EASIEST WAY OUT FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP.
Why? So many questions left unanswered... I'm lost. I'm still in that stage where in everything hasn't sinked in yet. I feel betrayed. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel so alone. The last person I thought I could trust with my life and with my heart left me. He left me in pieces. He broke my heart. He broke my soul.
Five years. Five years, just gone in one email.
Where do I start?
If only you could fast forward everything to the day where in you don't remember him anymore and the pain he gave you.
It's so hard to go home, to my room. Where in we shared a lot of things together. It's so hard to look around and not see him, feel him, smell him.
Why? Why? Why?
I want to drown my misery. I want to feel numb. If only there is something you could take to make everything go away. If only I could erase the last five years of my life..
Where and how will I begin to pick the pieces?
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