A wonderful day...

Trip to Batangas

Jet and I went to Batangas today to visit some relatives from my mother’s side because a cousin is going back to Canada and I need her to bring some stuff for my sister. Nanay came with us. She wanted to see them also and visit the place where she grew up. Two days before, she was really excited with our trip. She kept saying she wanted to go home already. It makes me happy to see her all keyed up and in a good mood.

We left at around 7:30 in the morning. A little late for me but Jet said it was okay. We’re not in a hurry. He wanted the trip to be comfortable as much as possible for Nanay. After one last stop at one of the gasoline station located at south superhighway, we continued with our travel. Normally, when I go there it was with Ate Cindy’s family and it would only take us like an hour to get there but today because of the traffic and Jet being careful not to over speed, it took us 1 hour and 30 minutes. Not bad… Nanay didn’t get bored because if she did she would have told us so. She has her funny way of letting you know that she is.

When we arrived everybody was there… Tita Mareng – my Nanay’s cousin, Ate Edna, Ate Digna, Ate Minda.. all Tita Mareng’s daughter and my cousins. We had a good time eating papayas, watermelon and for brunch we had fish and vegetables. Much to Jets liking (he’s on diet kasi.. mind you, he already lost 10 lbs. after a month of dieting). Hehehe! Nanay had a good breakfast and lunch. She was happy. Next hours were spent reminiscing about the good old days. While Jet and I ate more puto for dessert.

At around 12:30nn Nanay wanted to go home already. There’s no stopping her. And I agreed because of the bad weather there. I was thinking about the travel back home. Don’t want any hassle because of the rain and all. And besides my aunt and my cousins need to attend a funeral. So after some take-home ulam. We said goodbye.

It was fun… I mean, seeing Nanay happy. Although she was a bit tired, I knew she was happy. I on the other hand was so sleepy! Jet woke me up at 5:30 in the morning; I had only two and a half of sleep. He said he was already in our gate and need to park their car in our garage and check our van. Goodness… I wanted to sleep through out the journey but I didn’t want too, I’m afraid to influence Jet, who like me, lacks sleep also. But he was okay. We were listening to our local radio station regarding the arrival of Manny Pacquiao. That helped us be awake and be alert throughout the travel.

We arrived home at around 1:30pm… Jet and I slept from 2pm till 5:30. I was tired and so sleepy. Upon waking up we played with my dogs. Prepared dinner. I made salad for his diet and fish –again for our ulam. Around 8:00pm he was ready to go home to have a game of basketball with his high school buddies.

Yup that was my day. Now, I’m a bit sleepy and I'm missing Jet again.. Hehehe…

Well… anyway… I need to sleep already.. It’s a big day tomorrow. Wwhaa!!! Wish my Ate was here to handle these things… Wwwhaaa!!! Nyt nyt!!!

Lisa

Lisa arrived last Monday. She’s a bunch of energy alright. Goodness! I couldn’t keep up with her. Sometimes at night I find myself so dead tired. Mandy couldn’t get along with her. They would constantly bark at each other until the bigger one gets irritated. I would have to resort to a broom to break them up. I don’t hit them okay! Just trying to shush them away. Having three dogs aren’t easy. Mandy, I think is jealous of Lisa. I don’t blame her. She’s been my baby for ten months then another dog comes along to take her place. Lisa is not to take her place; I just need to give Lisa extra care because she’s only two months and too small to be left alone by herself. For the meantime, Mandy has to sleep outside my room until Lisa is big enough. I miss Mandy. And sometimes I feel guilty when I know I don’t give her the same attention that I used too but I know she understands and knows that I love her. On the other hand, I don’t have any problem with Stanley. He can be stubborn though. And Mandy loves him so much. I think she just doesn’t like other female dogs.

I’m still constantly learning about canines and their behaviors. Lot more to know out there.

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Last night Jai and I went out. We went to Eastwood for dinner and we were supposed to have a drink afterwards but opted to have an authentic Thai foot massage at Solemates instead. Just for 400 hundred bucks you get a preparation (upper body) message and 45 minutes of foot message. It felt so good and relaxing. I would love to go back there. With all the stress I get, a little pampering once in a while isn’t bad. Like my once a month trip to Tips ‘N Toes - my nail salon since 2000. I just love that place and the people there. So warm and kind. Hehehe!

Anyways, I watched the Morales-Pacquiao Event. Before the first round even started my brother already told me that Pacquiao won in the 10th round. What a bummer. But it was a good news nevertheless. Finally he gave Morales what he deserved after hearing what Morales said about Pacquiao.. well a knock-out isn’t bad. Hehehe! It was fun watching with the angels. We could even hear our neighbor’s reaction.

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Oh well, another week starts tomorrow. Time for bed…

Therapeutic Aspects of the Human-Companion Animal Interaction

by Sandra B. Barker, Ph.D.

Although the majority of American households includes a pet, it is only recently that we have begun to explore the relationship between people and their pets and the possible physical and emotional benefits of that relationship. Early surveys reported a strong psychological and emotional attachment between people and their pets, and the term human-animal bond emerged to represent this attachment. Studies revealed that most pet owners view their pets as both enhancing the quality of family life by minimizing tension between family members and enhancing their owner's compassion for living things (Barker, 1993; Pet Theories, 1984; Voith, 1985). Using a projective technique to investigate owners' closeness to their pet dogs, Barker and Barker (1988, 1990) found that dog owners were as emotionally close to their dogs as to their closest family member. They reported that more than one-third of the dog owners in their study were actually closer to their dogs than to any human family member.

Benefits of Pet Ownership

With documentation of the strong human-companion animal bond came studies of how pet ownership may affect physical and mental health. Friedmann et al. (1980) conducted one of the first such studies, which compared the survival rates of pet owners and non-pet owners following a myocardial infarction (MI). Controlling for exercise, the investigators found a significantly higher survival rate, one year post-MI, for pet owners. Other studies supporting a cardiovascular benefit associated with pet ownership followed; they are summarized by Patronek and Glickman (1993). Perhaps the largest cardiovascular study of pet owners conducted to date involved over 5,700 participants taking part in a cardiovascular screening program in Australia (Anderson et al., 1992). The results showed that male pet owners had significantly lower systolic blood pressure, and triglyceride and cholesterol levels than males who did not own pets. The study also showed that, of females over the age of 40, those who owned pets had lower systolic blood pressure and triglyceride levels than those who did not.

Other researchers have examined the relationship between pet ownership and more general health factors. Serpell (1991) compared adults before and after they acquired a pet, and found a decrease in minor health problems for pet owners. Examining reported health and morale in older adults living in the community, Lago et al. (1989) found pet ownership and attitudes toward pets to be significant predictors of these variables. Siegel (1990) compared physician utilization of Medicare recipients experiencing stressful life events and found lower utilization among pet owners compared to those who did not own pets. Allen et al. (1991) reported that females had lowered stress levels when their dogs were present compared with the presence of a human best friend or control condition.

Professionals working with children have also written about the benefits of pet ownership. Erikson's (1963) stages of psychosocial development provide a useful framework for considering potential benefits. Pets may contribute to the development of 1) a child's basic sense of trust through the pet's constancy, security, reliability, love and affection, and ability to serve as a transitional object; 2) a sense of autonomy and initiative through the pet's serving as an active playmate and promoting exploration of the environment, and encouraging patience and self-control; 3) a sense of industry through the pet's trainability and response to the child's basic commands; and 4) a sense of identity through the pet's serving as a companion and confidant, and providing social and emotional support (Blue, 1986; Brown et al., 1996; Bryant, 1990; Robin and ten Bensel, 1990). Others have focused on specific qualities that may be enhanced in children growing up in pet-owning households. Some researchers have found that children with pets score higher on measures of empathy, self-esteem and self-concept than those who do not. (Poresky and Hendrix, 1990; Van Houtte and Jarvis, 1995).

Focusing on a clinical population, Barker et al. (1997) showed the strong supportive role of pets in the childhood of sexual abuse survivors. In this retrospective study, they found that, in some cases, the pet was the only reported supportive entity in the survivor's childhood. In sexual abuse survivors, Nebbe (1998) reports that survivors with a strong human-animal bond in childhood report less abusive behavior as adults, and lower anger levels than those lacking a strong bond.

Other researchers have investigated the effects of introducing previously unknown companion animals into health care settings. These activities have ranged from simple visitation by a pet and its owner, to the purposeful inclusion of animals in patient treatment. This animal-assisted therapy has been shown to facilitate the achievement of therapeutic goals.

My New Baby

Tomorrow I'll be getting my new baby from Tita Ampy. A gift actually from my last birthday - a three month old mini pinscher. I'm so excited! Still haven't figured out what name I'll be giving him though. I like Oscar. Jet suggested Maximus from the movie Gladiator or Shaquil - names of big and strong people for a small dog. Hehehe! Cute! Can't wait for tomorrow. A new addition to my small family. :p

ARE YOU STUPID OR LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY?
By: Jeannie E. Javelosa

Poets and writers have written about LOVE as a madness, an obsession, an emotion of great fancy that makes people go beyond themselves and forget their very sanity. Love has brought people beyond their frail humanity to bid them fly to great heights of passion and inspiration. Love has moved mountains and reduced people to monsters. Oftentimes, love has made us look stupid, feel stupid and we don’t even care, oblivious as we are to the more practical, pragmatic way of living life. On the other side of the coin is the experience of loving unconditionally, beyond ones self for the good of the beloved. Yet, stupidity in love and loving unconditionally often has such a thin line that separates them. We may feel we love our partners unconditionally, yet are actually being stupid due to the choices we make within the relationship. Or while we may look stupid from the way the world sees what is happening to us, there may be a bigger picture being played out that only we can see and understand. So what now? What’s the demarcation line between the two that dividing line that tips us off closer to one or the other, between being stupid and being an ideal lover.

I begin my stories of unique relationships that are ironically, so common too. I’ve changed their names of course, but these are real people in real time. First is about Mona, a beautiful, intelligent mother of two children and wife to a husband who is a substance addict. For years, she would come to see me crying out her woes as, every visit, she came looking like a painting: black or blue or swollen, emotionally abused by a husband when he was in one of his insecure moments. But he loves me, she cried, as she returned to him, as always, to take whatever he would give her. Somedayhe will kill you, I told her, as we tried, through the years, to help build her self-esteem and make her see that the choice of staying on with him was breaking her spirit. Everyone told her to leave him. But she stayed on, living life a shadow of herself, afraid, withdrawn, beaten inside. Marriage is a commitment, she once whispered to me. Stupid? Or unconditional loving?

Then there is Francine. Married with one child, and with a good relationship with her husband & except that the husband is mid-lifing and facing all his own insecurities. The result? Husband flirting around with a bar manager for the sheer adventure of it all. Hubby is seemingly unmindful(lost as he is and confused) of the chaos it is doing to his loving, faithful wife and the potential of loosing a home (and his children to boot!). The wife, now in great pain, wants to leave, refuses to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. Stop and wait, I tell her. In the balance of life with twelve years of marriage on one side, and a two month long flirtation on the other, its not justified that you leave! So she is struggling now, heartbreak and all, trying to love despite all his faults, trying to see if he would get out of his own midlife confusion. I am being so stupid, she cries in her pain. I think she is in middle of the lesson of learning to love unconditionally.

But what of Nina, who married right after high school and has six children. She has been married for over twenty years to the same man. He has outgrown her, having had many affairs during their marriage. She knows about them and chooses to keep quiet. Never once has she brought it up as an issue. But she has no option, being totally dependent financial on her husband. Nina has no professional skills save that of being a homemaker. The husband remains dutiful as a provider, recognizing his fullobligation to his children and her. He says he doesn’t know what love is anymore as there is no emotional connection, nor love between them. Everything is duty. And both have settled into a convenient marriage. In this case perhaps Nina has learned to love unconditionally, and perhaps too she is just being wise especially if she has no other option beyond her marriage and her role as mother.

And of course there is Malen, whose husband has had six affairs and for each time he owned up, she took him back. She thought she was trying to love unconditionally. But now, facing the fork of her mid-life, is beginning to question whether she has been stupid all along. And this does not happen just to women& I know to of men who have taken back philandering wives with the desire to rebuild their home and marriage.
Those who have found such men stupid are those who cannot understand what unconditional love is about.

So many nuances! And no real answers I guess. This is because what may seem stupid to one, may be another martyrs cause. Also, we cannot discount karma that universal force that brings back unfinished business from other lives into this present lifetime. Imbalances must be played out. A beaten wife now may have been a cruel tyrant in the past! Yes, so many nuances. And the solutions to the problems of each marriage/relationship are just as varied depending on the religious beliefs, dogma, family patterns or levels of consciousness and awareness of the people involved.

So when is a person being stupid? My personal opinion is that it is stupidity when a person allows her relationship/partner to make her loose her self respect or self-esteem. And she is totally broken and unable to grow. It is when there is stagnation of the inner spirit, of a death inside & yet the person is unwilling to make changes in her life (like leaving her husband). It is sheer stupidity not to stand up for ones values and beliefs. It is stupid when you allow another person to totally destroy your very being & and you hang on to your partner because of dependence or fear. When no positive growth is seen, when all else (unhappiness, pain, loneliness) is accepted as ones fate in life and that one cannot seem to plumb ones personal power & then there is some stupidity here.

I know too of two men who warm my heart in knowing their stories. Both remain faithful to their wives one of which is in coma, and another partly paralyzed. Both men have chosen to love unconditionally, and continue to be faithful to their wives to this day. What is it about them that make them embrace their marriages with such a passion for loving unconditionally? These are the people who see beyond their human nature and that of their partners. These are the people who have aligned theirspirits and souls to the greater spiritual journey which is Life.

I think they have picked up a secret here & as do many others who struggle to love unconditionally. To do so is a choice & a conscious choice. To love unconditionally is to invoke ones free will, that precious power God has given all of us. A person caught in the drama life, with the needs and wants of the ego just cannot love unconditionally. This is beyond them. To love unconditionally means that the Higher Ego, that Higher Self has been reached and aligned to. A clear commitment has been made to just love, despite all costs, despite the obstacles and the odds. But something mysterious happens when people love unconditionally. This Love overpowers them and raises them beyond their own small humanity, makes them experience the expansive part of the Divine Spirit, even if pain and heartbreak was part of the journey. It makes them realize that all this loving has a purpose beyond them. And they move towards wisdom and soul growth. By continuing to love unconditionally, positive changes happen and suddenly there is no more pain or mere acceptance. All this has been purified into that perfect energy of LOVE. Sometimes the erring husband returns to the relationship, changed. And this deepens the marriage. Sometimes the Love was so great to create real miracles as the love a man had for his wife and brought her out of a coma. It is a love that seeks to bring out only the positive, always the positive in the partners and the situation.

If you find yourself in pain as you struggle to learn the great PHD of Loving, ask yourself if your pain is because you are stupid, and full of fears in your comfort zone & or if you are taking a step closer to an understanding of a special nuance of loving. The greatest thing that you can do when loving unconditionally is to bring your partner back to himself, and making him whole & and in so doing, back to the relationship and to you. What is does to you is even greater. It has made you a vessel for the LOVE which the Masters, Teachers and sages of old have spoken of. You begin to embody the very best that is in you. You have become LOVE.

2006…. I wonder what is in store for me this year… Hhmm…

New Year was fun for me. We had beers – lots of beers and barbeques in our garage. While my brother had his big speakers out and played nice music. He loved my Black Eyed Peas album and played Bebot over and over. Buti nalang I was too drunk to be annoyed by it. Hehehe! It was fun because we decided to have a little merriment and we had people to celebrate it with (unlike last year). Although they’re not part of the family, they’ve been serving us for years. So for me technically they are. :) They’re my angels. I call them angels because they look after me and my Nanay and of course my baby – Mandy.

We started early, around eight in the evening. Uly, husband of Sonia, started the grill. I had fun with grilled hotdogs. We had two cases of beers… I think I had ten of them from nine till one in the morning… Beyond that… I don’t remember anymore what I did. Hehehe! My sister called and told me to go online before twelve midnight. I guess I didn’t remember it because the next day she called again and asked me why I was not online. Goodness… How could I remember? I was drunk! Nanay had fun too. Posing for the camera and was outside with us watching my brother and our neighbors lighting fire crackers. She even stayed up till 12:30am.

The next day, I had a headache. I just stayed at home the whole day. I wanted to go out and have coffee but I was too lazy to get up from bed.

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That was how I started my new year. Drunk. Does it mean I’ll get drunk more often this year? Hehehe! Nah! With Jet always on guard, I don’t think so.

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Now what I still have is a hang-over from my vacation. Looking through our pictures… Wwhaa! I want to go back in time and stay there forever. No worries… No problems… Just calmness, love, fun and contentment.

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I want to leave.

I told Jet about this plan two days ago. I want to leave this country and find my own fate. He told me breaking up is not an option. We would be separated physically but in our hearts he wants to stay together. I feel bad because if I leave I’ll be leaving behind lots of people I care and love about. But I guess this is something that I must do for myself. It is time to think about myself.

I don’t know… I just want to leave.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Jetlog, masyado ka ata seryus dyan! :)

Hotel Veniz, Baguio Dec. 27-30, 2005

Goodness! What a year it was. I’m glad I survived all the stress. God! I just hope things will be different this year. I really hope and desperately pray.

Christmas Day, I just spent it at home with our angels. I didn’t feel like celebrating it with the rest of the clan. I wanted to rest and have peace and quiet for a change. I slept almost the whole day and watched T.V., all the while thinking about my Baguio trip with Jet. I’m more excited about that. Hehehe!!!

December 26 at 10:30 p.m. Jet, together with his brother, fetched me at home. Fritz was going to drop us at Victory Liner Cubao. We were supposed to take the Deluxe trip at 12:15am, but then due to misinformation, there was no scheduled trip that day. Oh my!!! Luckily there was no long queue for the regular trip. So we took that instead. At 1:15 a.m. we boarded 1886 Victory Liner Bus, got comfortable and prepared for the six hour trip ahead of us. I was in a hyper mood because I couldn’t believe that we’re finally leaving Manila behind for a four days three nights vacation in a place special to me. Hihihi!!!

We spent the first night at Jade Pension House. My brother and I used to stay there before during the summer when we usually watch Marlboro Tour. I used to find that place homey and comfortable but then, after almost ten years, the place changed. The next day we transferred to Hotel Veniz. Right at the heart of the city. I loved the place. It’s near Session Road, the market and Burnham Park. Plus! You got McDonalds with in the building!

What I love about our vacation aside from the qt we had, was our stroll around the city. We walked up and down Session Road countless times especially during the night when sleep couldn’t find us, we walked from the newly built Victory Liner Terminal to Ibay’s Silver Shop at the Lions Club, and we walked around SM Baguio just to see how big the place was although it was soooo cold. While we talked and talked about us, our plans, our future. We enjoyed also our window shopping in the market. Our inihaw na pusit in Mine’s View and fooling around with the kinky key chains. I had a good laugh there! I loved the surprised breakfast he got and our midnight snack bought at Burnham Park turo-turo while we were on our pajamas. Our Swiss dinner along Session Road. Our coffee break at Café by the Ruins and Rumuors. Our baraha tournament. Our drinking moments. Our funny videos made out of boredom. Hehehe!!! I’m really glad we had that vacation. After almost two years of being together I know we both needed that. We need to at least spend some time just the two of us. I feel that it is the only way that we’ll know each other more deeply and make the bond stronger.

We also went to the two churches I frequently visit during my trips there, The Cathedral and St. Joseph. When we first arrived in Baguio the Cathedral was the first place we went to. There was, exactly during that time, a wedding being held, so we only prayed outside the church and took a peeked inside... Funny thing though, for our last day in Baguio, we visited St. Joseph and by the looks of it, a wedding was just held there. Hhmm… is it a sign?! Hahaha!!! And we were the only people inside, surrounded by all the flowers and serenity of the church. Awww…. I was… Nothing…. :) I was smiling the whole time.

Our trip home was a lot more tiring. Although we had the chance to take the Deluxe Trip back to Manila, we left Baguio in an ungodly hour, at 1:15 p.m. of December 30. So, in Tarlac, traffic awaited us. Goodness! Would you believe! The supposedly five hour trip became an eight hour trip!!! God! I thought I lost my ass already. Jet’s iPod already drained, he borrowed mine and got it drained also! Goodness! I wanted to throw-up. But when I think about what we had in Baguio, the pain was all worth it. I wouldn’t change any single bit of experience. Never.

The only sad part was, I was worried about the people I left behind. Nanay, the angels and of course my baby – Mandy. I was so eager to go home and be with them.

It may be very mababaw or some people would say “Hmp! Baguio lang yan noh! No big deal!” But this trip really means so much to me. It brought me closer to the person I love and it helped me let loose all the negative things I acquired during the entire year of 2005 or else I’ve gone insane already. I jokingly told Jet – next stop! Boracay! Hehehe! How I wish! Maybe!

That was all what I did for my Christmas vacation. Can’t wait for summer to come though! Jet told me we’re going to Nueva Ecija to visit his relatives from his mother’s side. He made plans already! Yahoo! Just wish that nothing would come up to change that. Hehehe!

Anyways, that’s my trip to Baguio. Better hit the sack. I’m tired and very sleepy. Nyt nyt!!! :)